Blazin’ Saddles: Tour de Farce – Froome’s sucker punch

You could tell it was going to be one of those days when Team Sky refused to give a winking Pole and a flustered Frenchman any leeway whatsoever – despite the fact that neither Rafal Majka nor Thibaut Pinot were any realistic threat to their man Chris Froome.

Having reeled in the two escapees on the Col d’Azet – the third of four climbs on the stage eight menu – Team Sky flexed their muscles by pulverising the pack through pulls from Mikel Nieve, Mikel Landa, Vasil Kiryienka, Wout Poels, Sergio Henao and Geraint Thomas. It was a show of strength that bordered on outright bragging – like Dirk Diggler insisting on walking around everywhere with his pants around his ankles.

With the summit approaching, instead of allowing Majka pick up the KOM points to add to the tally he’d accrued in the slipstream of Pinot earlier in the stage, Poels and Froome ganged up and did the dirty on the Pole – leading to angry remonstrations on the descent.

Many were baffled by Froome’s stance in denying Majka maximum points…

But then again, while Majka won the polka dot jersey in 2014, perhaps we need reminding who the current incumbent is?

Wind forward to the fourth and final climb – the Col de Peyresourde – and Froome and his bully boys were at it again, whittling down the pack and seeing the likes of Contador, Barguil and Rolland slink off the back with their collective tails between their legs.

And then came the moment Froome showcased his superflybantamweight credentials when a Colombian fan sporting a comedy yellow wig got a little bit too close for comfort.

A better angle of what in any normal situation would amount to an assault of what looked like to be a senior citizen can be seen in this social media snippet below…

Social media was divided, with some drawing parallels with Nacer Bouhanni’s plight following the absent Frenchman’s fight on the eve of the French national championships, which ruled the Cofidis sprinter out of the Tour.

Others were more lenient, giving Froome the benefit of the doubt and calling the whole thing a misunderstanding.

If karma has a way of levelling things out then Froome must be in store for a nasty Sunday in Andorra because the wiry Brit’s day only got better after the incident. Indeed, taking advantage of Nairo Quintana slowing to pick up a water bottle – and perhaps disguising his attack as another manifestation of his new-found desire to increase his polka dot KOM hail – Froome sprinted for the summit and never looked back.

His efforts to increase his gap over his pursuers on the descent seemed to go above and beyond the call of duty as Froome got rather intimate with an object which, let’s admit, already spends most of the day between his legs anyway.

If looking at Froome hunched over the handlebars and hugging his frame makes you feel queasy then try watching the footage of the 31-year-old riding downhill at speeds approaching 80kmph in such a precarious pose.

Still, it was mighty effective – and Froome managed to cross the line with a 13-second gap over his pursuers which, when added to 10 bonus seconds, saw him move into the race lead and snare the maillot jaune.

And when he did cross the line, what better way to celebrate than to recreate the pose which pretty much summed up your day in the saddle…

Still, victory for Froome was the fifth for Great Britain in eight days on the world’s biggest bike race – quite the turnaround for a nation which so recently voted to cut their ties with Europe.

To add the icing to the cake, Froome now leads Adam Yates in the general classification – yes, the same Adam Yates whose stage on Friday came grinding to a halt like this:

Luckily the race organisers saw sense and didn’t dock the Orica-BikeExchange rider any time – although he’s been pestered with offers ever since.

And to close things today, let’s spare a moment for down-in-the-dumps Dumoulin, who did a Demare…

Not to forget Denmark’s Michael Morkov, who became the first rider to withdraw from the Tour after finally succumbing to his daily battle with the broom wagon…