Battle of the Bosses: Conte slips up as Jose lets rip

Ronald Koeman, or The Master Tactician as he is known in some areas of Ireland, dreamt of a coming out party for Everton at Anfield on Saturday. The past week has felt like something of a watershed moment in the history of the club, with their plans for a new £300 million stadium approved. The Toffees could have made a statement of intent with victory over their greatest rivals. Instead, Liverpool put them back in their place.

It was all about the service - while Liverpool provided their danger men with ammunition, Everton drew a blank. Romelu Lukaku never got the chance to add to his tally of 28 for the season, with Ross Barkley doing nothing to boost the claim that he should be in the England squad. Everton will have to show more than a plot of land to suggest they can one day become the city’s predominant force.

Arsene Wenger must have missed the van hired by a group of Arsenal fans to demand his resignation. Or the audible dissent heard throughout the 2-2 draw against Man City. Or the in-fighting between supporters at the Emirates Stadium on Sunday. Or the general mode around the North London club at the moment.

“I felt the fans were fantastic today,” the Frenchman insisted in what was the greatest performance of his ‘I didn’t see it’ routine yet. “Our fans could have turned against us, but I thought they were absolutely sensational and helped the team to get through those difficult moments. I think what's important in football is what happens on the pitch and inside the stadium and I feel the fans were absolutely outstanding today.” Indeed, what happens inside the stadium is what the protests are all about, Arsene.

Not even Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting could have deciphered Pep Guardiola’s line-up for Manchester City’s away game at Arsenal on Sunday. Was Fernandinho playing as a defender? Was Jesus Navas down as a full-back? Did he really select a team without a single recognised central midfielder?

With Arsenal still trying to work out what they were comforted with, City took the lead after just five minutes. The Gunners were bamboozled as they found so-called defenders rushing by them and so-called wingers staying back. Everything was backwards. This is what comes with a manager who treats football more like a game of 11-a-side basketball crossed with rugby.

The BBC know what it feels like to be unwelcome at Old Trafford. Animosity between Manchester United and the national broadcaster kept Mike Phelan in a job for half a decade, and now familiar feelings have bubbled to their surface again, with Jose Mourinho this time taking aim.

The Portuguese branded a BBC reporter’s question “silly” after Saturday’s goalless home draw against West Brom. “You think the game was equal? I can smile win, lose or draw. I am sorry to say, it is a silly question,” he hit back. Eight draws from 15 home Premier League matches this season. That’s pretty silly too.

Chelsea will probably still win the Premier League title. The blue ribbons have been tied on the trophy for months now, but a home defeat to a Sam Allardyce side is the greatest indignity Antonio Conte has suffered in England so far. He’ll probably leave that bit out when he regales dinner guests with the tale of how easily he conquered the Premier League.

Maybe the Italian could spin it as an attempt to ensure Chelsea keep a London rivalry next season, with the three points going some way to boosting Palace’s hopes of survival. Charity, in essence. What other way would there be to explain the Blues’ abysmal defending on Saturday?

It might be a long shot, but Spurs are still in with a chance. Saturday’s away win over Burnley means seven points stand between Mauricio Pochettino’s side and pace-setters Chelsea at the top of the table. They may have left it too late but the title race, previously contested at walking pace, has broken into a jog.

Pochettino wants his players to learn lessons from last season’s failed title challenge, insisting that there is a belief at White Hart Lane that they can catch Chelsea in the way they couldn’t with Leicester City last year. Will they stand a better chance of reeling in Diego Costa than Jamie Vardy? Eden Hazard than Riyad Mahrez? N’Golo Kante than…. oh.