The Warm-Up: Harry Kane's impossible job; Sergio Ramos is innocent (this time)

Harry Kane has scored reliably and prolifically since breaking into the Tottenham team back in 2014. So much so that not only has he shaken off the one-season wonder tag, he’s also got past the ironic jokes about him being a one-season wonder.

OK, maybe not. Give it another six years and 200 goals eh, Harry.

Kane whacked in three with three different body parts against the decidedly modest opposition of APOEL Nicosia, taking his season’s record to nine in eight games. Not bad considering that includes a crippling three-match August drought at the start.

Kane being English, he’s constantly reminded about his place in history and judged against impossible standards. BT Sport’s interviewer solemnly invited him to speculate whether he will become Tottenham’s greatest ever striker – be better than Jimmy Greaves or you’re nothing to us!

Thankfully Kane greets such enquiries with a sublime obliviousness that made a colleague of the Warm-Up conclude he must either be exceedingly smart or exceedingly stupid.

What’s between his ears matters not – if he keeps whatever formula allows him to block out the fatuous historical comparisons and focus on the job in hand, he’ll surely be better than Alan Shearer.

More frustration for Jurgen Klopp as his Liverpool side once again failed to secure their first win of the Champions League campaign in a 1-1 draw away to Spartak Moscow.

In fairness, it’s kind of a good news/bad news situation. A bit like: good news, the guy publicly backed by Trump has lost a senate runoff election! Bad news, the guy who beat him pulled a gun out on stage at a rally.

In this case: good news, Liverpool started with the hardest possible pair of fixtures, home to the best opponent in the group and away to the second best – they’re unbeaten and have easier games to come.

Bad news, they can’t defend, can’t finish off games they dominate and can’t win a match.

You may well have seen outrage last night about Sergio Ramos handballing on the line.

And indeed the stills make his offence against Dortmund look pretty bad. Luis Suarez, Stephane Henchoz, Steven Taylor bad. Penalty! Red card! Throw him from a church tower for his treachery!

But roll the tape and what’s this? The ball wasn’t actually going in, and came at Ramos via a deflection off the gloves of Keylor Navas roughly six nanometres away.

Ramos gets away with so many genuine transgressions – let’s not fixate on an incident where his only crime was to have hands. It's like hating Kim Jong-Un because of his dress sense.

RB Leipzig’s Timo Werner was substituted after just over half an hour at Besiktas because of “hearing issues” – this after trying to play on with ear plugs.

We wouldn’t mind betting there’s more to Werner’s condition than just ‘it was too loud for him’ – but still fairly remarkable.

We can all act cynical about knowingly wacky football club social posts – but tell us this isn’t funny.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-oh, nice finish-OOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Represented in this case by Cornish Blue – though it could really be any fan from any club. He's chosen to be offended that a graphic showing Arsenal in seventh doesn't also show Manchester City in first. #AGENDA

A word of advice, Sir: your team is top of the league, top of their European group, playing scintillating football and scoring shedloads of goals. Maybe it’s time to stop feeling slighted and just enjoy life?

In sports hack transfer news, Jonathan Liew is off to the Independent to become Chief Sports Writer. No Diego Costa-style flouncing out from the Telegraph, though – his final weekly column is a typically though-provoking meditation on sport’s role in a politicised world.

To mark the sad news of Freddy Shepherd’s passing, here’s possibly the high point of his chairmanship of Newcastle: the Faustino Asprilla-inspired 3-2 win over Barcelona on the club’s Champions League group stage debut back in 1997.

Nice soundtrack, too.

Lots and lots of options tonight - there's Manchester United in Moscow, Chelsea visiting Atletico Madrid's new digs for the Diego Costa Derby, Celtic already approaching must-win status at Anderlecht and lots more besides. But when you're offering the Warm-Up a tasty PSG v Bayern match and the prospect of another Neymar penalty tantrum, there's only one outcome.