The Warm-Up: Arsenal restore some dignity, and Clatts is back

There was a slightly weird atmosphere about Arsenal’s FA Cup fifth round game against Sutton on Monday night. Usually in these circumstances, everyone is desperate for the non-league side to give the big boy a bloody nose, to provide an upset that, depending on your point of view, restores the Magic Of The FA Cup, or just provides a laugh because a good team loses to a bad one. In this case though, sympathies were a little more blurry, and for one the Warm-Up wasn’t especially disappointed when Arsenal won 2-0.

For a start, there was the vague sense that, unlike the relatively professional and well-drilled Lincoln, some at Sutton were enjoying the attention of getting so far in the cup, as if somehow having the cameras in tow was the real prize, and the game was an afterthought. That’s not an accusation you can level at most of the players, but when you take their cheeky chappy manager relishing every second he was on telly, the ‘roly poly goalie’ eating a pie on the touchline as part of a tie-in with a betting company (for which he might have broken FA betting rules, amusingly enough), and the one-game sponsorship of that not especially popular betting company, the whole thing does get a bit tiresome. It’s like they were enjoying the idea of being in the FA Cup, rather than actually being in the FA Cup.

Perhaps that’s being unfair. Although, while a cup upset is usually great fodder for the romantics, at least some of those emotions would have been turned over to hoping Arsene Wenger didn’t embarrass himself further. It’s fairly clear that it’s over for Wenger at Arsenal, he should have gone a few years ago and he should definitely go this summer, but this is a dignified man and one of the two or three greatest managers of the Premier League era. He doesn’t need any further humiliations. Thus, the goals from Lucas Perez and Theo Walcott at least ensured he avoided that.

That all said this, from (we think) Sutton skipper Jamie Collins, is outstanding work…

Just when he thought he was out, they pulled him back in. Oh, Mark Clattenburg, never scare us like that again: we thought we had lost you forever, but now you’re back, and everything is OK. We just want to hold you tight and never let you go.

Yes, that’s right people, he’s back. Although he didn’t actually go away. A few days after it was announced that Mark Clattenburg would be taking up a role with the Saudi football federation and leaving the Premier League clean behind, it has emerged that he will actually still be a referee in his green and pleasant homeland. Well, sort of. Actually what’s going to happen is Clattenburg will serve out his notice period, staying in England until the end of the season before he does one to the Middle East.

When the summer comes he will indeed depart to “improve refereeing and the education of officials” in Saudi, but until then he’s ours. Let us savour these days, because we have been given a hint of what life could be like without him, and people, it was not nice.

Things aren’t going brilliantly for Neymar at the moment. The Barcelona team are in some sort of odd funk, just about keeping their heads above water but being nobody’s idea of convincing, and now it seems he will go on trial for corruption.

The charges relate to his transfer from Santos in 2013, based on a complaint made by DIS, the company that owned 40% of his economic rights back in Brazil. That company claims it didn’t receive all the money they were owed when Neymar moved to Barcelona, and thus Neymar, his mum and a company run by his parents will now go before the courts.

But don’t take him out of any fantasy teams you might have: while prosecutors are seeking a prison term, he’s extremely unlikely to actually be chucked into the chokey, and will rather be given a chunky fine, if he’s found guilty.

How do you react to a ropey decision against your team? Probably with swearing, shouting and vague promises of harm that you would never actually dream of carrying out. Well, that’s not quite what Vietnamese side Long An did when their opponents Ho Chi Minh City were awarded a slightly iffy spot-kick in a game recently.

In protest against the decision, they simply decided not to play anymore. Long arguments with the referee concluded with Long An’s goalkeeper turning his back when the penalty was actually taken, then standing still while their opponents ran around and scored more goals.

The game was in its final minutes anyway, so while the score was at 2-2 when the penalty was awarded, Ho Chi Minh only had time to walk in a couple of unopposed goals before the referee brought things to a conclusion, presumably on the basis that ‘this is just silly now.’ The final score was 5-2.

In Monday’s Warm-Up, Adam Hurrey included Joey Barton in the ‘Zeros’ section of Heroes and Zeros. We have no quarrel with that, but he wrote of Barton: ‘Barton’s obviously not worth getting too hot under the collar about…’ We disagree. The football world today is broadly so controlled, public statements are usually so sanitised and bland, behaviour is usually so regulated with PR considerations in mind, that to have an outright villain like Barton in our midst is rather entertaining, nay comforting. Barton’s self-appointed status as a pseudo-intellectual might be confusing for some, but really it actually makes him easier to dislike. Embrace it, welcome it, get hot under that collar about Joey Barton.

Remember when Auxerre were good? Well, they’re not anymore. Over on The Set Pieces, Robin Bairner tells the tale of how they have slipped down to the brink of the French third tier.

Manchester City are in European action tonight. Their record in the Champions League has been a little patchy, to say the least, but they haven’t always been so iffy on the continent. Think back, for example, to the 1970 Cup Winners’ Cup, which they won, beating Polish side Gornik Zabrze 2-1 in the final thanks to goals from Neil Young and Franny Lee.

Baaa-baaa, baa-baa-baaaaaaaa, the CHAAAAAAAAMPIIIOOOOOONNNNNSSS. Yes kids, it’s back, and the Champions League serves up a couple of mid-level tasty-looking games tonight. City face Monaco, hoping that they can do over the team that are streaking ahead of everyone in Ligue 1 at the moment, while the other game sees Atletico Madrid travel to face Bayer Leverkeusen. There are a few decent Championship games for your enjoyment too, with Derby facing Burton and Reading travelling to Huddersfield. Options, people, options.