The Warm-Up: Wayne Rooney scores, Plymouth make sure Liverpool don't

Some statistical pedantry aside – Bobby Charlton’s two goals in the Anglo-Italian Cup in 1973 may yet spoil the party – Wayne Rooney’s opener in Manchester United’s one-sided win over Reading put him on the cusp of becoming the club’s all-time record goalscorer.

The moment – and probably the one when he breaks the record – seemed anti-climactic, which is entirely in keeping with Rooney’s gently descending career. Plenty have observed that it will not be until he is long retired that football will recognise his achievements and talents, and that is more than simple received wisdom: Rooney suffers more than most of the familiarity-contempt phenomenon.

He remains broadly popular with United fans, even if few remain under any illusions about his physical capabilities at 31 years old, but even some serious post-retirement critical distance would do well to elevate him to Cantona-level status. England fans’ judgment will be clouded by consistent collective underachievement, meanwhile.

In summary, then, it feels rather futile to try and fight a corner for Rooney’s legacy while he’s still shuffling around the Old Trafford pitch. Let’s meet back here in – ooh, let’s see – 15 years, shall we?

There are lies, damn lies and…just very handy statistics actually. Liverpool had 77% of the ball at Anfield on Sunday, from which they forced 18 corners and attempted 28 shots. Young midfielder Kevin Stewart completed as many passes as the entire visiting side in the first half.

The score – as that intro strongly suggested – was 0-0, and even the relentless goodwill of Jurgen Klopp, and his mandatory respect for the ol’ Magic of the Godforsaken FA Cup, was stretched to an uncomfortable limit.

While Klopp still had the grace to congratulate the Plymouth team on the pitch at full-time, his weakened Liverpool lineup – the youngest in the club’s history – have given their manager another fixture to prepare meticulously for, and perhaps a couple more of the established players to think about.

“It was a very dominant game from my side but not with real chances. There were one or two shots but they did everything they had to do to deserve a rematch and now we have it – yippee!”

Klopp’s glee at a midweek trip down to Devon was certainly less sincere than that of the 9,000 Plymouth fans for whom the coach convoy home will have been rather comfortable indeed.

While we bask in the now-fully-mainstream glory of Mike Dean’s idiosyncrasies, spare a thought for Uruguayan fans – their officials are on a whole other level of unprofessional.

“It’s over for me, though: I say goodbye to this noble art”. No sober man talks like that, Raul, but that is a sensational quote to end your refereeing career with.

He won’t be threatening the records of your Cliff Bastins, your Ian Wrights or your Thierry Henrys in an Arsenal shirt, but perhaps Olivier Giroud is another striker who will only get the credit he’s due once he ups sticks for pastures new.

Four of Giroud’s last six Gunners goals have arrived beyond the 86th minute – decisive contributions from a striker built to produce them, in contrast to the busy scuttling of an increasingly fit-to-burst Alexis Sanchez as Arsenal try and dig their way out of whatever hole they’ve got themselves into this time. But, as we know by now, the red half of north London are a tough crowd to please:

Even before his red card against Peterborough further underlined John Terry’s obsolescence to New Chelsea, Kurt Zouma had made his first start after nearly a year out with injury and Nathan Ake had been recalled from his eye-catching loan at Bournemouth.

Antonio Conte has maintained a nice line in diplomacy whenever confronted with surely the final instalment of the Annual Terry Contract Extension Saga, the captain himself has kept a dignified near-silence, and neither party seems uncomfortable with the impasse while Chelsea sit top of the Premier League. Terry could have done without the rather public reminder of his waning powers, but his Stamford Bridge reign is still likely to come to an agreeably pleasant end all round.

Paul Merson and Phil Thompson have been getting a bit of attention for this thoughtful, considered and nuanced take on Marco Silva's appointment at Hull...

The FA Cup third round is wrapped up with the mouthwatering prospect of Cambridge United v Leeds United, shortly before which the draw for the fourth round will be made. Who will Manchester United play, live on television?!