FIFA chaos: Who's been banned? What does it mean? And who's in power now?

But what precisely has happened, and what will the repercussions be after this move by the investigatory arm of FIFA’s Ethics Committee?

Under the hilarious piece of understatement which is the headline, ‘Independent Ethics Committee bans several football officials’, FIFA on Thursday confirmed that three of football’s most powerful men have been suspended. They are as follows:

Sepp Blatter, FIFA president: Banned for 90 days.

Jerome Valcke, FIFA general secretary: Banned for 90 days (already put on leave by FIFA).

Michel Platini, UEFA president and FIFA vice-president: Banned for 90 days.

FIFA confirmed that these suspensions can be extended for a period of up to 45 days.

In addition, former FIFA vice-president Chung Mong-joon, who had only recently launched his bid for the FIFA presidency on a clean-up ticket, has been banned for six years and fined 100,00 Swiss Francs (£67,300).

Incredibly serious. Blatter and Valcke run world football and Platini holds the reins of power in Europe. Moreover, he has filed his papers as a candidate to replace Blatter in FIFA’s presidential election on February 26 and has been portrayed as Blatter’s natural successor.

But now football’s three most powerful individuals have been told they have been suspended from their roles and will not be able to participate in “all football activities on a national and international level.” They will have to clear their offices immediately.

As New York Times reporter Sam Borden explains, this news could have serious implications for Platini’s attempt to grab football’s seat of power.

If FIFA does find Platini guilty of anything - or, more seriously, if Swiss investigators find anything to run with - it seems inconceivable that he could ascend to Blatter’s throne.

Perhaps it is already inconceivable.

Last month, officials from the office of the Swiss attorney general raided Blatter’s office at FIFA headquarters. They were looking into allegations that TV rights for the World Cup were sold to former CONCACAF president Jack Warner on the cheap.

The Swiss investigators were also probing a £1.35m “disloyal payment” made from FIFA to Platini in 2011. Platini says the payment was for work conducted for Blatter nine years previously.

As for Valcke, he had already been put on leave following allegations of corruption relating to a scheme to sell World Cup tickets for a profit.

Under FIFA rules, Confederation of African Football president Issa Hayatou takes charge as the institution’s most senior vice-president.

At UEFA, the responsibility falls to Spain’s Angel Maria Villar Llona.

Not quite. Hayatou has been reprimanded in the past by the International Olympic Committee for taking bribes from a marketing company.

Villar Llona, meanwhile, is currently under investigation by FIFA’s ethics committee for failing to co-operate with the Garcia report which sought to probe the bidding process for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups.

Let’s just say this isn’t a good look:

Your guess is as good as ours.