Battle of the Bosses: Moyes takes on Beyonce; the Mourinho supremacy

This was David Moyes’ chance to show how he’d been dealt a rough hand at Manchester United. That he was still one of the best managers in the Premier League. That everything that had been angled at him over the past two years - all the derision, all the mocking - had been unfair. It’s not going so well in that regard.

In fact, it’s not going well in any regard. Sunderland have lost five of their opening six league fixtures this season, drawing the other one, and sit slumped at the foot of the Premier League table. Rather than quelling his critics Moyes has so far served to prove them right. Saturday’s defeat to Crystal Palace provided a new nadir, though.

Sunderland somehow managed to blow a 2-0 lead with just 30 minutes left to play, as Palace fought back to ultimately claim a 3-2 win. The Black Cats made a number of individual errors that Moyes couldn’t legislate for; his team selections have been muddled, without coherent thought, and that is manifesting itself on the pitch. Man Utd fans know how this goes.

Moyes has already proved himself as a master of public relations at Sunderland, admitting the club was set for a fight against relegation just two games into the new season. This time he found an interesting way to explain the Black Cats’ collapse to Crystal Palace. He blamed Beyonce.

The Scot pointed out that Sunderland were deprived of home pre-season games due to world pop’s most famous booty-shaker’s gig at the Stadium of Light this summer. “I’m not saying that’s the biggest reason, but maybe it’s something that could have helped get rid of this hoodoo,” he said. “I think the club needs to say, ‘No, we’re not doing that, we’re actually going to see if we can get the first Premier League game at home.’”

So next time Beyonce pitches up at the Stadium of Light she can expect to be turned away by a ginger gentleman whose eyes are haunted by the sight of things no football manager should never see. Remember how Beyonce’s last album was one big rant at Jay-Z? Her next one will be about Moyes.

When it was put to Arsene Wenger that Mourinho planned on one day breaking his face the Frenchman’s expression changed rather dramatically. The smile was wiped clean from his face. It was like the moment Lisa told Ralph she wasn’t his girlfriend on live television. Yet the Arsenal boss managed to keep his composure.

He shrugged it off, refusing to get drawn into a war of words with his old nemesis. Wenger could have easily, and with justification, hit back at the Man Utd manager. Instead he remained calm and that was evident in Arsenal’s performance against Chelsea just days later. There was a focus to their play, getting one over a club that has provided a yardstick for their own failures over the years. A satisfying week all round.

Most clubs have teething problems upon moving to a new home, but West Ham need an emergency visit to the dentists. Sunday’s 3-0 defeat to Southampton left Slaven Bilic’s side in the bottom three, with his players booed off by their own supporters.

At least the fans weren’t fighting among themselves like they have been at times this season. West Ham are a club in a battle against itself and that has had an impact on the team on the pitch. Once one of the most characterful clubs in England, now West Ham are close to turmoil.

Of course, the Hammers’ struggles this season cannot be solely attributed to their move to the London Stadium, but the club is most certainly enduring something of a crisis of confidence right now. The feud they are fighting is not against a rival, but themselves.

Antonio Conte has a certain look. It’s the look of a man who has been crying in the bathroom but wants nobody to know. It would have been understandable had the Italian sought the refuge of the Emirates Stadium bathroom on Sunday.

Chelsea were handed their first league defeat to Arsenal since 2011 and they were handed it in humiliating fashion. The Gunners were 3-0 up at half-time and were in complete control for the whole contest, never letting their grip slip. The Blues’ strife was embodied by the struggles of Gary Cahill and David Luiz. How Conte must long for the days of Leonardo Bonucci and Giorgio Chiellini. He whispers their names as he sleeps. They come to him in his dreams, wearing Chelsea blue. Then he wakes up and Cahill and Luiz are standing at the end of his bed.

Jose Mourinho has had it tough of late. His silvery slick hair has lacked its shine in recent weeks, his trench-coat not so immaculately turned out as it usually is. Everything has been questioned about the Portuguese coach, with his Manchester United side suffering three straight defeats in the space of a week. The Special One or special once?

And so Saturday’s thumping 4-1 win over reigning champions Leicester City must have felt good. Mourinho had spoken about his CV before the game, but he didn’t need to hand out copies of it at Old Trafford to remind people of just how good, just how bona fide, he truly is. United did that for him with their performance on the pitch. This was their best display under Mourinho so far, and by quite some distance.