The Warm-Up: Klopp blows his top, City rub victory in United's faces and derbies are still the best

Even if he conceded that the title race was “probably” over, there was no chance of Jose Mourinho going quietly into the night. As Manchester City celebrated the 2-1 win that extended their winning run to a record 14 Premier League games, the United manager found them to be disrespectful post-match guests in his own house.

By all accounts, the PG-13 benchmark of 2004’s seminal “Battle of the Buffet” has been smashed by something altogether more edgy in the bowels of Old Trafford. Jose Mourinho reportedly became incensed by the sheer volume of the noise coming from the victorious visitors’ dressing room – sparking something between “fracas” and “melee” on the spectrum of football aggravation.

The end result was a cut to the head of City assistant Mikel Arteta, Mourinho reportedly being “squirted with milk”…and Pep Guardiola coming dangerously close to absolutely lording it.

“We won because we were better. In all departments we were better. I don’t know the plan from my opponent but we came here to try to win. We did the same at Stamford Bridge. I am happy because so many people say you cannot win in England playing like this.”

City were, of course, the more positive of the two sides, but needed two defensive lapses – both from the unfortunately-placed Romelu Lukaku – to make their breakthroughs either side of a Marcus Rashford equaliser that owed much to a City slip of their own.

To say Mourinho could have had no complaint, though, is to ignore who Jose Mourinho is.

Asked if the title race was over, Jose was initially calm – “probably, yes…Manchester City are a very good team” – which was fairly gracious of him in the circumst….oh: “…and they are protected by the luck, and the gods of football are behind them.”

When a manager has to resort to a show of hands in the press conference over a crucial refereeing decision, you know it’s time for everyone to go home and calm down. “I didn’t think it was a penalty, did you?…OK, obviously you all thought it was a penalty,” 90s-sitcommed Jurgen Klopp after Everton had snatched a point from the jaws of none at Anfield.

Sam Allardyce, meanwhile, made no apologies (and why would he?) for the ultra-defensive tactics his side had deployed to deal with Liverpool’s hitherto-freescoring forward line. Mohamed Salah was still allowed to trick his way in from the right and curl home a stunning opener, Allardyce admitted his team needed to use the ball better, but there was no doubt from the blue half of Merseyside that the opportunity for Wayne Rooney to equalise from the spot was a deserved one.

“You can call it soft if you like,” said Allardyce. “I don’t have a problem with that, but these days you can’t put your hands on an opponent in the box. Don’t mess with him, don’t touch him, don’t shove him.”

Wise enough words to live by, unlike Klopp’s now endlessly-looped interview with Sky Sports which peaked with the words “well, then we can stop the interview because I only want to talk to people who have a little bit of understanding about football.”

Klopp soon apologised – and many managers wouldn’t, live on air – but for all the talk of mind games this weekend, Allardyce proved he has an underrated knack for the art.

There’s probably a perfect, 16-letter German word to describe the moment when you can’t find the penalty spot under a light coating of December snow. Bundesliga referee Robert Kampka took matters into his own hands when Cologne won a penalty against Freiburg, and did things his own way – counting out 11 metres from the goalline, rather than 12 yards, the absolute maverick.

Sehrou Guirassy duly converted, and Cologne soon went 3-0 up with less than half an hour gone. All good then, for the Bundesliga’s winless bottom side…until Freiburg fought back, scored two penalties in injury time, and won 4-3.

Mein Gott.

Everyone deserves their break at some point. Having broken the most unenviable record of managing in the relegation zone for 41 consecutive games, David Moyes needed some good news. Against the reigning champions on Saturday, West Ham – suddenly full of running, purpose and the odd bit of imagination – provided it. In the process, Moyes kept up another obscure statistic, of which he might be a little more proud.

By the end of Slaven Bilic’s tenure, the issues were clear: the players were unfit and didn’t care. Now, Marko Arnautovic was running Chelsea ragged, Arthur Masuaku was actually looking like a professional footballer and – most stunningly of all – West Ham kept a clean sheet, with some comfort too.

Give it Moysey until the end of the season.

The Axis of Blissful Ignorance, perhaps, for it was these four nations who – for one reason or another – had failed to secure the broadcasting rights for the Manchester derby.

What on earth did they have to talk about on Sunday night? Perhaps they had the rights to the final of I’m A Celebrity instead? No spoilers, but that one you’ve never heard of ended up winning the whole thing, just ahead of someone from Hollyoaks.

Young referee Edward Eason writes for the Guardian to point out the huge elephant in football’s room: that abuse of referees has become stupidly, dishearteningly automatic.

On this very day in December, 1991: Dean Saunders – who was about to finish above Marco van Basten, Ruud Gullit and Gheorghe Hagi in the Ballon d’Or vote – hits a hat-trick past FC Swarovski Tirol in the UEFA Cup…but then gets upstaged by a very happy-looking Barry Venison.

It’s the Teams-Nobody-Misses-From-the-Premier-League Clasico, as Reading host Cardiff in the Championship. Elsewhere – Italy to be precise – Lazio take on Torino.