The Warm-Up: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWanna give us the trophy already?

Someone break out the semi-skimmed, get the music pumping and call The Daily Mail’s infographic designer: Manchester City’s irrepressible party boys are on it again!

Just three days after getting rowdy right outside Grandpa Jose’s bungalow, forcing the poor, pure-hearted innocent to call the noise police, Pep Guardiola’s charges headed to Swansea – not exactly a classic stag destination, but we’ll roll with it – for the latest leg of their raucous romp through the Premier League.

And yes, they lived it up again, David Silva pulling the strings much as he did at Old Trafford. He scored the opener and the goal of the night, with Kevin De Bruyne and Sergio Aguero – back on the horse after a quiet night in on Sunday – also on target. But the 4-0 scoreline hardly did justice to City’s superiority.

Their lead at the summit remains 11 points, then, but City’s dominance of this division is probably best expressed in a list of their 15 most recent results, which looks like the scrawlings of a drunk person trying to access a website and falling asleep: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

That, in case you were wondering, is the longest winning run in the history of the top flight, and completes a remarkable full house for Guardiola. The Catalan now holds the record for the longest sequence of victories in all three leagues in which he has managed: 15 in England, 16 in Spain and 19 in Germany.

Absolutely ridiculous stuff, and if City continue in the vain the milestones will continue to stack up before the end of the season. They’re just that bloody good.

What about the rest of the rabble, then? Manchester United managed to at least produce a reasonable impression of a team who might, maybe, if society as we know it crumbled and football’s laws were extensively rewritten by our new bionic overlords, be feasible title challengers, beating Bournemouth 1-0.

Tottenham also yawned their way to victory, seeing off Brighton, but the other members of the putative big six – Dychey’s coming to get you, amigos – didn’t have such a good time of it: Liverpool drew 0-0 with West Brom and Arsenal drew 0-0 with West Ham.

You can’t be the best if you can’t beat the West, as literally no-one says.

Actions speak louder than words, especially when you’re Claude Puel. So it was nice to see France’s premier decibel-economiser exact sweet, goal-drenched revenge on former employers Southampton last night.

Puel, recall, was axed after guiding Saints to the League Cup final and – horror of horrors! – eighth place in the Premier League. But the complaints over his style of football don’t look quite so righteous now Mauricio Pellegrino is struggling to do much better, while his Leicester charges look absurdly motivated under his rule.

Happy birthday to Michael Owen, who turns 38 today. It’s easy, when faced with his deafening mediocrity as a pundit, to forget just how good a player Owen was in his pomp, so here are 158 reminders:

It’s a shame the Frenchman got injured so early in his first season in England, but Mendy proved again last night that Manchester City’s loss has very much been Twitter’s gain:

VAR? Varrrghhhhh, more like, am I right? Yes, it was another red-letter day for everyone’s favourite disrupter of momentum, with a series of really, really slow decisions turning Real Madrid’s Club World Cup semi-final against Al Jazira into something of a farce.

Madrid, on current form, are more than capable of making things hard for themselves without recourse to video referees, and were staring ignominy in the face when Romarinho stroked the Abu Dhabi team ahead. By that stage, Casemiro had had a goal chalked off in controversial circumstances, and there was more drama to come in the second period when Mbark Boussoufa put the ball in the net, only to be ruled offside.

“It is a little confusing,” said Luka Modric after the game. “I don’t know which situations they want to use it in, and some decisions take too long to make.” Zinedine Zidane was in agreement: “Sometimes they take a long time and we do not know what’s going on. It’s a bit strange and it affects the rhythm of the game, for sure.”

Zidane’s side did eventually manage to sort themselves out, Cristiano Ronaldo slamming home an equaliser and Gareth Bale climbing off the bench to settle it. But it was an unsatisfactory afternoon for a number of reasons.

That’s Rory Smith, in typically good form, on the bizarre, limbo-located non-career of Stuart Taylor. Also worth your time: Marina Hyde on the concept of ‘respect’ in football; Michael Cox on the reinvention of Raheem Sterling; and this:

It’s the one you’ve all been waiting for, kids. Yep: Qatar vs Liechtenstein. Only joking; it’s Lazio vs Cittadella. Only joking; it’s Hereford vs Fleetwood.

Look, it’s a bit of a bleak one, OK? Watch some cricket or something.