The Warm-Up: I guess that's why they call it the Blues
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Updated 18/08/2017 at 07:45 GMT
Jack Lang wades into Antonio Conte's misery, laughs at Paulinho and digs out some great old Italian goals...
Antonio Conte
Image credit: Getty Images
FRIDAY’S BIG STORIES
Tony C’s summer bummer
It comes to something when losing at home to Burnley and having two players sent off ISN’T the worst part of your week. But that’s the bleak reality facing Chelsea boss Antonio Conte this Friday.
We were all well aware that Tony C’s All-Summer Fun Club had gone a bit Blair Witch Project – y’know, Diego Costa textgate, watching Nemanja Matic get back with his ex, starting the season with about seven senior players – but with the transfer deadline starting to loom like a t-shirt made of fruit, the situation is getting ever more precarious.
The good times just keep on not coming for the Italian. The latest non-event looks a lot like a number of other things that haven’t happened in the last few months: once again, Chelsea have not signed Alex Sandro from Juventus. That’s despite tabling a bid of (*rubs eyes to make sure they’re still working*) £63million for the left-back.
The Warm-Up is no expert, but that looks very much like drive-him-to-the-airport-myself money, yet still the Old Lady won’t budge.
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Alex Sandro, Juventus, Serie A 2016-17 (LaPresse)
Image credit: LaPresse
What else? Oh yeah: Costa is still Costa-ing. The striker has turned down Chelsea’s latest invitation to return to training and will remain in rural Brazil, presumably to pursue his new hobby of offering hospitality to journalists from major British newspapers who just happen to be in the area.
Still, at least Conte and his charges have a nice winnable fixture to help them get back on tr… oh, wait, it’s Spurs away. Sorry, Antonio.
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Diego Costa has reiterated his desire to return to Atletico Madrid from Chelsea
Image credit: PA Sport
Spurs sign Sanchez (not that one)
That cloud over north London? Oh, don’t worry, that’s just the dust from Daniel Levy’s chequebook, finally plucked out of that double-padlocked drawer in the bulletproof safe at White Hart Lane.
Tottenham, you see, are going to buy their first player of the summer. It’s Ajax defender Davinson Sanchez, last spotted being allowed to hoist a series of aimless long balls onto the grateful head of Chris Smalling in the Europa League final a couple of months ago.
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Davinson Sanchez of Ajaxduring the UEFA Europa League final match between Ajax Amsterdam and Manchester United at the Friends Arena on May 24, 2017 in Stockholm, Sweden
Image credit: Getty Images
The fee could end up being £42million, which strikes The Warm-Up as quite a lot given that that he’s unlikely to displace Toby Alderweireld or Jan Vertonghen any time soon. But then most transfer fees have struck The Warm-Up as quite a lot this summer, so that’s probably irrelevant.
The good news for Levy is that, having already signed both of the aforementioned centre-backs from Ajax, he’s now probably only one purchase away from getting a free one. Well, provided the Dutch side don’t row back on their loyalty scheme like Southampton have, the absolute fiends.
Split infinitives
Everton’s faultless start to the season continued last night with a straightforward 2-0 win over Hajduk Split in the first leg of their Europa League play-off. The Toffees have now kept four clean sheets in four competitive matches – testament to the work done on the training ground by Ronald Koeman this summer.
He’s been busy in the transfer market too, of course, and there was a first sight of new signing Gylfi Sigurdsson at Goodison Park ahead of kick-off. Just look at how pin-sharp that parting is. The man looks like a Ken doll.
Goals on the night came from Michael Keane and serial chance-squanderer Idrissa Gueye, presented with an opportunity that even he couldn’t miss by Wayne Rooney, influential once more in attack.
Koeman, though, was not best impressed by his side’s profligacy after the break.
“I was really happy with the first half and unhappy about the second,” the Dutchman said. “We lost a big opportunity to score more goals.”
To be fair, if you’re not conceding any, you’ll probably be fine.
IN OTHER NEWS
The Warm-Up went to the big second-hand bookshop in town yesterday and found an old, dusty copy of How To Make A Bad First Impression: A Hands-On Guide.
On page one was this:
RETRO CORNER
Many happy returns to Gianni Rivera, AC Milan legend and Ballon d’Or winner back in 1969. The man nicknamed ‘The Golden Boy’ spent 19 years with the Rossoneri, scoring 164 goals and winning more trophies than seems fair.
Here are ten of his best goals for Milan, in seemingly completely random order, accompanied by a soundtrack – and defending – that makes a few of them seem like scenes in a silent movie.
For The Warm-Up’s limited money, No.6 is easily the best.
HAT TIP
Many at the top end of the game and directly involved in its commercial side feel that this is far from the case with Paris Saint-Germain. There is a belief from some that the French club are trying to short-squeeze the market, and pay huge amounts and huge wages for as many big-name players as possible, knowing in the long term that only very few clubs will be able to afford them.
The Independent‘s Miguel Delaney knows things, so when he writes them down, it’s worth absorbing them. His latest, a state-of-the-union summary of the summer transfer market, is very interesting indeed.
Oh, and if you’ve yet to subscribe to The Totally Football Show, seemingly the result of a podcast schism at the Guardian, you should do so. It’s very good.
COMING UP
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Sebastian Rudy, Robert Lewandowski
Image credit: Imago
Those looking for some cold, bubbly football to ease them into the weekend in style are in luck: there are plenty of options tonight.
Burton Albion vs Birmingham is the domestic offering, while rumour-mill darling Kylian Mbappé will be watching Metz vs Monaco from the stands, trying to blink out a come-and-get-me plea to Paris Saint-Germain.
Things also get underway in Germany and Spain this weekend, and while La Liga’s two offerings for the evening are fairly niche, the Bundesliga has done us a solid by scheduling Bayern Munich vs Bayer Leverkusen on the first Friday of the season. Danke indeed.
Saturday’s Warm-Up will be written by… psych! It’s the weekend, dummy! We’ve got lives to live!
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