The Warm-Up: Ronaldo outdoes Messi again; Arsenal will still get Bayern

Football’s all about one-upmanship these days.

You drive a Ferrari, I’ll buy a private jet.

You live in a penthouse, I’ll move into a castle.

You get a 21-month prison sentence, I’ll do six years.

Six years is what Cristiano Ronaldo could be facing, according to an official at the Spanish tax authority, obliterating the piffling 21 months handed to Leo Messi earlier this year.

Jail sentences up to two years can be served on probation in Spain – which is why Messi never saw the inside of a cell, but six years would mean actual jail time.

The Warm-Up says ‘would’ because Ronaldo has not been charged with any offence, let alone convicted, and a statement released on his behalf said he was “fully compliant” with his tax obligations.

Ronaldo is accused of being part of a tax avoidance scheme that saw up to €150m diverted to offshore tax havens - which may not be true, and if it is true it may well not be illegal.

It is thoroughly depressing to see the unimaginably rich employ teams of accountants to minimise their tax bills while projecting a public image of philanthropy and charity – but Ronaldo deserves a chance to defend himself, ideally without tax officials chucking around entirely speculative prison terms.

In the meantime, if you want to spend $129 on a CR7 Breast Cancer Awareness blanket of which “a certain amount” of proceeds go to breast cancer research, come right this way.

Last night Lucas Perez scored a hat-trick as Arsenal swept to a 4-1 win at Basel with a hugely impressive away performance.

The Warm-Up mentions this because no Arsenal fan worth their salt was watching – certainly not after they made the game safe early in the second half.

For the Gunners fate was not in their own hands, but of those belonging to the brave boys of PFC Ludogorets Razgrad, whose match at PSG became the sole focus of attention.

Rooting for a team about whom you know next to nothing is one of the strange quirks of tournament football, and Ludogorets came through with a 2-2 draw in Paris that means Arsenal top their group for the first time in five seasons.

It was all rather dramatic, considering Arsenal’s prize is simply to have their plastic ball moved to a different pot for the last 16 draw, giving them a slightly – but not completely – easier group of potential opponents.

Not completely, because among the group runners-up and possible opponents are Bayern Munich, who have done for Arsenal on two of the six consecutive times they have lost in the last 16 – either Real Madrid or Dortmund will also lie in wait.

Arsenal have a reputation for unlucky draws in Europe – but if your problem is that you keep losing to teams that are better than you, the Warm-Up would suggest either improving or taking part in an easier competition.

PSG’s failure to beat Ludogorets might have lost them the group, but it was far from the night’s biggest choke.

That came in Ukraine, where a Besiktas team with qualification in their hands went to already-eliminated Dynamo Kiev... and lost 6-0, sending Napoli and Benfica through.

The result was great news for fans of concentrating power in the hands of a narrow elite (hello, UEFA!) because unless Copenhagen get very lucky tonight, every one of the last 16 clubs will come from Europe’s six biggest leagues – England, Spain, Germany, Italy, France and Portugal.

Team goals don’t get nominated for the Puskas Award, it seems – but this from Barcelona is as good as anything you’ll see.

A Dundee United fan with one leg has won the SPFL Goal of the Month competition. Gimmicky? Perhaps. But it's only a 'best goal' competition, so why on earth not?

This might not be quite as awful as that miss from Serbia the other week, but it's definitely harder to understand how on earth the ball doesn't go in.

Matthew Le Tissier has become the highest profile player to speak out in the football abuse scandal, discussing troubling practices during his time in the Southampton youth team.

Just look at December 2006’s Goal of the Month competition – with goals like that, it’s hardly wonder the whole thing got so tragically overhyped..

Brace yourselves for the carnival of sadness that is Tottenham's Europa League play-off against CSKA Moscow at Wembley, while Leicester - confirmed top - can kick back and treat tonight's match against Porto like a Premier League game. We'll be watching events at the Bernabeu, where Real Madrid battle for top spot against a Dortmund side fresh from beating Legia Warsaw 8-4.