The Warm-Up: The Italian job hunt, Phil Jones roulette, Valderrama ball skills
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Published 16/11/2017 at 08:04 GMT
Jack Lang is back with bad translations, horrendous banners, and the very best of the Ginger Prince...
Enttäuschung bei Trainer Ventura nach dem WM-Aus
Image credit: SID
THURSDAY’S BIG STORIES
Disgrace Ventura
Like a lame, bloodied hound, Giampiero Ventura limped on for 48 hours, but the Italian FA finally put the poor sod out of his misery last night. About time too, you’d think, given he’s currently about as welcome in his homeland as a cow pat would be beneath your duvet.
“This is the apocalypse,” was La Gazzetta dello Sport’s headline on Tuesday morning after the Azzurri failed to save themselves against Sweden, and it stands to reason that there will be some dark, testing times ahead before they see any light at the end of the tunnel. Generations who have grown up with Italy at the World Cup, meanwhile, will look at next summer’s tournament and feel like there is something missing.
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ventura italie
Image credit: Eurosport
Ventura’s very appointment, remember, was something of an eyebrow-raiser. So at least there appears to be some internal consistency to the federation’s methodology as far as the favourite to replace him goes. Carlo Ancelotti, king of the bemused smile, looks to be on the way in, unless Antonio Conte fancies a timely return.
The Phil Jones conundrum
One question has dominated the opening months of this football season. It doesn’t relate to Manchester City’s title credentials, or to Everton’s struggles or to Conte’s future. It is this: is Phil Jones injured or not?
The Manchester United man featured in every one of his team’s Premier League games so far, yet is rated as a doubt almost every weekend. Against Huddersfield, he was hauled off after 22 minutes, yet by the time Spurs came to Old Trafford he was fixed up and fit to play until the final whistle.
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Phil Jones was disappointed by his ban
Image credit: PA Sport
Then, against Chelsea, another early trip to the showers, but still an England call-up… and another little scare against Germany. Phil, mate, can we just decide either way here?
At least Jose Mourinho thinks he knows who is to blame – and it’s obviously not himself. “I don’t think it is possible for a player with a problem to play in a friendly,” the United boss told The Mirror, presumably while menacingly eyeing his Gareth Southgate voodoo doll.
“Of course, Phil Jones had a problem. He was having a problem for three weeks. He’s having problems that are stopping him to play for his club and then he plays for his club in extreme conditions because it’s a big match against Chelsea.
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Manchester United's Eric Bailly is squirted with water by manager Jose Mourinho as Phil Jones looks on
Image credit: Reuters
“And then he goes to the national team and he comes home with an ongoing injury that everyone knows is an ongoing injury. I want to see this next weekend if the players that were not going to the national team, I want to see if they are going to play. Drinkwater? Delph? The only one that is not playing is Phil Jones.”
The one thing we can definitely, definitely be sure of now? That Jones WILL play this weekend.
IN OTHER NEWS I
An oldie, but a goodie, this. The Warm-Up is guessing Shakhtar Donetsk, like most major European clubs, now boasts a full roster of international editors, but we pine for simpler times, when the headlines of news pieces on their website were little portraits of whimsy.
“I had an idea – and it worked” – YES, I WILL READ THAT.
“Good when you see goal” – SAVING TO POCKET RIGHT NOW.
“Shakhtar in Crans-Montana: shower, horse and away home” – I’M COMPLETELY LOST BUT IT FEELS EXCELLENT.
IN OTHER NEWS (II)
Here’s Carlos Valderrama encouraging Colombian men to test themselves for signs of testicular cancer. What a wonderful, wonderful world.
RETRO CORNER
Many happy returns to Paul Scholes, who turns 43 today. Now The Warm-Up knows you’ve been following recent developments in his career closely – glory, glory Vietnamese Football Talents FC, etc – but this section being what it is, we prefer to delve into the archives for some vintage Ginger Prince goodness.
Here, then, are ten of his most thumping strikes for Manchester United:
And here are some of his best passes, some of them with oddly lifeless Japanese commentary for the connoisseurs:
Best thing about that second video, by the way? Definitely, definitely this abysmally bad home-made banner:
HAT TIP
I’m forty years old now, and though I still play, I mostly watch. On any given weekend, I have the pick of the world’s best teams, on screens of all sizes. Friends send me links to highlights, which I send to other friends. Until I intervened, my twelve-year-old was getting an alert on his phone every time a goal was scored in the top dozen professional leagues. I find it difficult to explain to him what it was like to be a soccer fan in the U.S. when I was his age, when love for the sport was mediated by scarcity
This is a nice (and snappy) New Yorker essay on following the Peru national team – of which more below – from a distance.
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Peru fans
Image credit: Getty Images
COMING UP
Tonight, there are a couple of games worth a look. At 7pm, Manchester City play Lillestrom in the Women’s Champions League, looking to book a quarter-final spot. Then at 7:45pm, there’s FA action between Billericay Town (star players: Paul Konchesky, Jermaine Pennant) and Leatherhead, with a place in the second round up for grabs.
Friday’s Warm-Up mutineer is Tom Adams, the utter fiend.
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