Vuelta Skelter: Stuck in neutral

The decision to neutralise the 7.4km race against the clock from Puerto Banus to Marbella was met with bemusement by many and relief by others. But despite the controversial amendment, we witnessed a tight battle for the stage win with three teams separated by less than two seconds at the top.

The world time trial champions lived up to their billing with a professional display that saw their man Peter Velits take the first red jersey of the race.

With TTT victories in the Dauphine, Tour and now the Vuelta to their name this year, there’s no denying BMC’s credentials in the discipline. Their latest success added to a rich vein of form for the Swiss-backed American team.

How typical would it have been had Peter Sagan’s first Grand Tour stage win in over two years came in a stage in which results were neutralised?

But in the end it was the even more typical predicament of Sagan finishing second on the stage – keeping his run of five runner-up spots from the Tour continuing on Spanish soil.

Of course, the result lead to the inevitable LOLZ on social media…

But perhaps the best came from Sagan himself, who joked that maybe his own personal curse had something to do with Tinkoff-Saxo missing out…

Still, for being a showman and taking the first green jersey of the race Sagan deserves an ‘UP’.

It can’t be often that two Slovakians called Peter top the standings of a stage – albeit a stage that bears no influence on the outcome of the race. But that was the case on Saturday night in southern Spain – although it looked like one Peter wasn’t so keen on vacating his spot in the winners’ enclosure…

The route was so close to the beach, Team Sky might as well have taken a pedalo – they’d probably have finished a lot faster.

Chris Froome’s team set the third-slowest time 1:11 down on BMC – and although they kept their man out of trouble, it was a tactic that hardly endeared the fans.

You see, the trick is to give the fans a spectacle they’ll remember instead of soft-pedalling along the coast as the Spanish sun sets – just ask Andrew Talansky, he has the right idea.

Yes, this is Talansky of the Cannondale-Garmin team which finished nine seconds slower than Sky in 21st place.

And that Talansky quote in full: "Obviously we wanted to put on a good show for everyone and ride the race for the public. Our main priority was to stay safe but also put in a good effort - and we did both, we stayed safe and put in a good effort."

Perhaps the pitbull wasn't wearing his glasses when he looked up at the screen after crossing the finish line...

When you’re still looking for a main sponsor and your riders are starting to get agitated and flee the nest (Cyril Gautier en route to Ag2R-La Mondiale, for example), do you…

a) Ride your socks off and show the passion of the team

b) Ride ok-ish so that you finish in the middle of the pack and don’t make any headlines

c) Ride with so little panache that you finish more than two minutes down in last place

Although one coveted blogger does put a positive spin on things for Europcar…

Twitter was the real winner on a day which offered little spectacle. Top of the podium and firmly in the red jersey social media stakes is this gem: