Evening all, and welcome to an absurd night of Champions League football. Can a provincial club owned by an industrial monolith actually beat a monolith? Surely not! Such is the modern game. But despite it all, we know in advance that what awaits us is also assuredly spectacular. So, bring it on down. Kick-off: 7.45pm BST

Pepe bundles Schurrle over close to the left corner flag, and Bruno Henrique's corner finds Dante in the box! He rises well too, but Ramos does just enough to smother header with head.

Still Bale isn't permitted to go left, but Benzema is there, easily beating Vieirinha and winning a corner off Naldo. Kroos' kick is stood up - it doesn't look especially dangerous - but Ramos is up, heading hard against the post. The ball rolls across the line and looks for all the world as though it's in before Benaglio claws it away. The linesman is there, squinting and all that, and he thinks it's no goal, but it really does not look that way.

Incidentally, it is 0-0 at Eastlands - so, PSG need to score to go through.

The rain in Spain falls mainly upon the Bernabeu.

Guilavogui deflects Carvajal's cross behind for a right-wing cross, and Marcelo whips in hard - Benzema is up at the back stick, but can't quite get his brow there in time and the ball flashes across him.

Benzema, drifting right, finds Modric, and his low cross is deflected at goal by Naldo, getting to it just before Guilavogui - but Bengalio is sharp enough to seize, thus averting a cruel, yet hilarious own-goal.

Benzema, drifting right, finds Modric, and his low cross is deflected at goal by Naldo, getting to it just before Guilavogui - but Bengalio is sharp enough to seize, thus averting a cruel, yet hilarious own-goal.

Wolfsburg have barely been out of their half since the break, but wil be satisfied with their efforts - Madrid have got nowhere, more or less.

Unusually, I've neglected to note the utter state of the Wolfsburg jerseys. Blue, with one green diagonal stripe and one white, crossing it. They look like items discounted at Debenhams.

Ronaldo flips a gentle one and the wall jumps, deflecting the ball behind for a corner that comes to nothing.

Ronaldo strolls past Arnold into the box and Henrique ploughs after him but manages to refrain from making the challenge that would end in the inevitable penalty. But, immediately afterwards, he does foul Kroos .. and it's a free-kick, 25 yards out, just left of centre...

Apologies for that brief recess - we're good to go again, and missed very little, though Madrid have rediscovered their attac king conviction.

And off we go again.

What a curious half that was. Madrid actually did very little, and had Wolfsburg turned up in that period, who knows where we'd be now. But they didn't, and, obviously, inevitably, magnificently, Cristiano Ronaldo did, scoring twice; of course he did!

Half-time: Real Madrid 2-0 Wolfsburg (2-2 on aggregate)

Maxi Arnold runs at Casemiro's calf, boots it, and is booked.

Wolfsburg force successive corners, and throw men at both - the second is cleared, and Benzema, followed by Modric, break. But Guiulavogui is on hand to crowd them out.

There shall be two additional minutes.

It's been quite some time since Madrid did anything.

Bruno Henrique swings over a cross from the right and it drops onto Schurrle's toe on the other side of the box. He lines it up well, too, but Carvajal is on hand to show it his back, deflecting behind for another wasted corner.

Wolfsburg are sort of on top at the moment, and that's the thing with Madrid: they have wonderful players who can do things that salve your soul, but they're not much of a team.