Evening all, and welcome to an absurd night of Champions League football. Can a provincial club owned by an industrial monolith actually beat a monolith? Surely not! Such is the modern game. But despite it all, we know in advance that what awaits us is also assuredly spectacular. So, bring it on down. Kick-off: 7.45pm BST

Wolfsburg are sort of on top at the moment, and that's the thing with Madrid: they have wonderful players who can do things that salve your soul, but they're not much of a team.

If Wolfsburg don't win this, Bruno Henrique is taking that moment to the grave.

Wolfsburg are looking a little more confident now, and dearie me! What a chance for Henrique! Schurrle nashes down the left and clips back a cross - but Henrique wants to stick it in at his leisure, and while he contemplates the existence of existence, Ramos and Marcelo fling themselves in his road, between them deflecting his threaded effort wide.

Suddenly, Wolfsburg are able to retain possession in Madrid's half, and his hold-up play allows the ball to be laid back to Luis Gustavo, on the edge of the box. He panels a shot with his laces, but directly above Navas, who tips over the top. The corner comes to nowt.

Annoyance for Wolfsburg: Draxler has twisted an ankle, and is replaced by Kruse. He goes up-front, and Schurrle moves left.

Ronaldo pulls across the face of the box from centre to left, taking a man with him and opening up space for Benzema, running with the ball, to shoot. But he doesn't get hold of it, connecting with laces instead of instep, and the effort dribbles through to Benaglio. He was trying to do this:

I wonder if Wolfsburg might consider swapping Schurrle and Draxler - Draxler is better at shielding possession, and might enjoy a run and Pepe and Ramos.

A better point, made by Robbie Savage, is that Wolfsburg don't have a striker who can hold the ball up. They do have out-balls, though, and Madrid do have three unreliable defenders.

This is a curious little affair, really. Despite what the English commentary would have us believe, this has not been a pummelling. Madrid have created two opportunities and scored from them, but they've not been peppering the goal the rest of the time, or even finding much space. And, despite my proclamations when the second goal went in, if Wolfsburg get one, Madrid need another two.

Apologies for the disappearance - crashing programs and such.

GOAL! Real Madrid 2-0 Wolfsburg WE ARE PRIVILEGED TO BE LIVING IN HIS TIME! Madrid win a left-wing corner, Kroos hits it flat towards the near post, and Ronaldo pulls away to glance a header across Benaglio, with no one guarding that side of the goal. Somehow, this tie is simultaneously all-square and all-over.

GOAL! Real Madrid 1-0 Wolfsburg And there's Ronaldo, coming in off the left, just like I said! Carvajal goes down the right, arcs over a low cross, and a clip off Arnold sends it directly into Ronaldo's path at the back post; he taps home with customary economy and understatement.

This is an excellent start from Wolfsburg - Madrid have done nothing.

I wonder if Madrid might be better off with Ronaldo on the right. It's true that he's their most reliable souce or a goal, so needs to be where he might score, but against a massed defence, his team need to stretch the game, and the moment, neither winger wants to go on the outside.

Marcelo paces down the left and crosses towards Benzema at the far post, but Draxler is in the way, fancily flicking behind for a corner - which comes to nowt.

A punt from Rodriguez, aimed at Bruno Henrique, finds Marcelo chilling elsewhere and forces Ramos to concede the corner. And the kick is a good one, finding Dante in the middle of the box - but he can't impart requisite brow and the effort doesn't threaten Navas.

Madrid are winning the ball back very quickly, and Wolfsburg's defence doesn't look equipped to handle this kind of pressure. And there's Benzema, nipping into space at inside-left and slipping a square pass to Modric - he's got Ronaldo outside him, haring towards the back post, but dithers and is duly crunched.

Ronaldo steps inside and dashes across the face of the box before wedging a cross miles past everyone. Kroos is there to retrieve, winning a corner, which Ramos bounces onto the top of the bar.

Wolfsburg are doing their thing, sitting deep and allowing Madrid to probe before blazing forwards when they get the chance. Incidentally, we're discussing generics are we're yet to enjoy a specific aspect of action - though as I type that, Benzema step-overs past Vieirinha and drills a low cross into Naldo's shins.

Both managers are wasting energy on the touchline to the consternation of Louis van Gaal, as Madrid try to get their one-touch game going. Modrid is at the heart of it, and prods through for Benzema, but Naldo is in to challenge.