Evening all, and welcome to an absurd night of Champions League football. Can a provincial club owned by an industrial monolith actually beat a monolith? Surely not! Such is the modern game. But despite it all, we know in advance that what awaits us is also assuredly spectacular. So, bring it on down. Kick-off: 7.45pm BST

Champions League / Quarter-final

Bernabéu / 12.04.2016

Real Madrid

Completed

Aggregate score 3-2

VfL Wolfsburg

Cristiano Ronaldo(16', 17', 77')

Live

Live Updates

ByThe Editorial Team

Updated 12/04/2016 at 20:42 GMT

Both managers are wasting energy on the touchline to the consternation of Louis van Gaal, as Madrid try to get their one-touch game going. Modrid is at the heart of it, and prods through for Benzema, but Naldo is in to challenge.

For the now, Bale is on the right and Ronaldo on the left, even though Bale had a lot of joy, playing - wait for it - on his natural side.

KICK-OFF. Madrid get us underway.

3' to go

"90 minutes in the Bernabeu is an extremely long time," says Owen Hargreaves, intensifying John Toshack. This is what happened when he said it:

5' to go

Everyone is speaking Gazprom in excitement.

19:35

Back to our teams, Madrid make one change from the first leg - Danilo, who was horrific, if not horrificest (well done Marcelo) - is replaced by Carvajal. Wolfsburg are unchanged.

19:32

"Expect fireworks: we'll be a one million percent," says Pythagoras Schurrle. He'd best hope the requirement isn't one million and on percent, or even infinity.

19:29

19:24

Cristiano Ronaldo reckons this is going to be a "magical evening" - a fabled "remontada", or "comeback", for those not as versed as I in the old Spainish.

Here's the original, against Derby County in 1976.

19:17

Credit where it's due - and amazingly, this is something not uniform in the aforementioned modern game - Wolfsburg seem absolutely committed to enjoy this. And so must we.

19:08

Let's have some teams, what.

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