Thanks for your company - ta-ra.
- 2nd Half
- 1st Half
Chelsea - FC Bayern Munich
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The score precisely reflects the play. Bayern were excellent, far too good for Chelsea, who can only hope it's kept social in the second leg.
Full-time: Chelsea 0-3 Bayern Munich
Frank Lampard mooches about on the touchline looking sad.
Still, Bayern pass and move. They are so much better than last season, though it's also incumbent on me to remind you that Chelsea aren't very good at all.
Kimmich hits flat into the middle and Goretzka is up immediately, heading goalwards ... but Lewandowski is on-hand to block. That's extremely sporting of him.
There'll be four additional minutes, we learn as Bayern win a corner.
Bloody hell, I'd forgotten Bayern have Goretzka. He replaces Thiago, who's been excellent.
Mount, who's been Chelsea's best player, breaks into the box down the right and drives a shot that's blocked at source, then pikes the rebound back to Neuer.
This has been a proper outclassing. Bayern are so grooved and cohesive.
This game is expiring now. The second leg is not going to be an ordeal, I shouldn't wonder.
Change for Bayern: Tolisso replaces Gnabry, who's a proper player.
Yup, he did it! Marocs Alonso is sent off for first chucking an elbow at, then wrapping a hand around Lewandowski's face, as he made a run for Muller. Silly boy.
Oooh! Alonso chucks a hand at Lewandowski, and VAR wants a look. He did do it...
Abraham drives at the Bayern defence but looks leggy and he tries to work out what to do next; in the meantime, Boateng slides in to save him the bother.
Pedro takes possession on the edge of box and swerves past two challenges, cracking a lovely low ball across the face of goal ... but there's no one there to tap home.
Lewandowski has 11 Champions League goals this season, more than anyone else.
GOAL! Chelsea 0-3 Bayern Munich (Lewandowski) Davies into Coutinho, collects the return and deploys the nitro, streaking past one man, tempting in another and weaving away from him too, then keeping the head to square for Lewandowski, the creator supreme, who's never missing from six yards. This could get messy.
James finds Willian, who snaps a lovely pass across the face of goal to the far post, but no one can get the barest touch that it needs. "In some ways y'know, it was too good a ball," postulates Glenn Hoddle.
Davies plays a one-two with Kimmich and streaks away down the left, but he can't quite muster a final ball.
Sad face emoji.
The corner is headed away to Jorginho, but neither he nor Chelsea can make anything of it.
Chelsea are coming back a little, James sliding Willian in down the right and his low cross is blocked behind for a corner.
Kimmich telegraphs a ball out of defence, looking to go wide, and Mount reads it then intercepts. But there's no one up with him and rather than wait for help, he opts to slash a shot from 20 yards that flies high and wide.
Muller gets down the right and clips over a cross to the back post that Coutinho tries to scissor-kick. He doesn't get a good connection though, and the ball squirts across the face, but there's no one there to convert.
Things have quietened down a bit, but Bayern still reckon they can kill this, if you can kill something that'sa already dead.
Coutinho replaces Coman.
Coman gets treatment, as we see Gnabry's excellent finishes. Selling him was not one of Arsene Wenger's better calls.
Oh dear. Coman seems to have pulled a hamstring.
Muller finds Gnabry, who's come to life after a quiet first half; his shot is deflected behind, and when the corner arrives, Thiago's shot hits a hand. The Bayern players appeal, but the ref says no while VAR has a look as the game carries on ... no penalty.
In Naples, Antoine Griezmann has equalised for Barcelona.
Changes for Chelsea: Barkley and Giroud off, Willian and Abraham on.
"It's coming home," sing the Bayern fans, harking back to Euro '96.
Muller gets to the line and clips back for Gnabry who's got another sight of goal! But the volley is at a tricky height, and he imparts shin not boot, sending the ball over the top when really he ought to have punched home his hat-trick.
Liverpool have enough to be getting on with - they'll do well to get by Atletico - but Bayern are exactly the kind of team who'll trouble them. Class in midfield, and wingers who'll attack the spaces behind Liverpool's full-backs, their premier creators.
Coman goes down the right and flips over a cross that Lewandowski only just misses with an overhead kick.
We've just learnt that Kimmich was booked for that earlier foul on Kovacic.
I've not a clue what Chelsea do from here. They must score, but in the process of trying, it's more likely they'll concede again.
GOAL! Chelsea 0-2 Bayern Munich (Gnabry) Another lush goal! Neuer clears, Lewandowksi wins a header on halfway and Gnabry is off, finding his mate again. Again, Lewandowski puts Gnabry in, this time down the left of the box, and he applies an expert's finish, guided low into the far side-netting. Tie over!
Chelsea are in big trouble here.
GOAL! Chelsea 0-1 Bayern Munich (Gnabry) This is a lovely goal! The ball bounces about in the centre-circle before Gnabry grabs it as Azpilicueta slips amd puts Lewandowski away! He powers into the box, left of it, and looks ready to shoot, but instead slides a square return pass that Gnabry sticks home, Muller jumping over the shot to be sure. Beautifully done.
Kimmich fouls Kovacic, who goes ape with the ref, putting face into face - that really shows him, I can tell you - and the ref shows him a yellow card. He'll now miss the second leg, for his is a fool.
Jorginho lofts over the top for Mount who bears down on goal, but Davies again catches up; the ball still breaks for Ount, who pokes a shot against Neuer and in the repachage Bsrkley drives a shot into him, but then the flag goes up for offside.
Boateng tries a long ball and Lewandowski controls but then loses possession.
Glenn Hoddle would like to see Tammy Abraham, whose pace in behind might trouble Bayern's high line. I'm not sure how fit he is, nor how good he is; there's a fair chance his early season streak was exactly that, and not a mark of quality that he'll soon repeat.
We go again.
That was an entertaining half of which Bayer had the better both in terms of play and chances - but Chelsea held their own and looked capable of scoring too.
Half-time: Chelsea 0-0 Bayern Munich
There'll be one added minute.
Barkley skirts around Thiago on the edge of his own box, so Thiago pulls him down and is booked.
AND HERE COME CHELSEA! Alonso does really well to feint outside and nip inside Pavard, who slides out for a bag of jellied eels, and a shooting lane opens up! Alonso tries really hard to get over and around the ball, driving left-footed for the far post, but he can't get enough on it and Neuer dives to shove away.
...and it's a good ball in, but Azpilicueta stays goal-side to win the header and Caballero claims.
Alonso dives into a challenge with Coman and wins the ball, but the ref appraises a free-kick. Kimmich will fling it in form the right touchline....
What a goal this is.
Chelsea win a free-kick on the left, 35 yards out, that James comes over to swing in, just too much purchase seeing the ball bounce over the by-line.
Muller has been the best player on the pitch by far. Chelsea might want someone sitting on him because at the moment, they're not getting close.
Gnabry into Muller, whose lovely flick, back to goal with the outside of the foot, plays him back in down the left. His cross is a goodun too, and Miuller, so full of confidence, twizzles his entire body to get the right angle for cushioning a gorgeous back-header ... against the bar!
A poor kick from Neuer puts Bayern in trouble and eventually the ball makes its way to Kovacic just outside the box, left of centre, and he slides a clever pass in for Mount, who lashes across the face ... but neither Barkley nor Giroud can get on the end of it.
At the San Paolo, Dries Merterns has given Napoli the lead against Barcelona. You can follow along with that one here.
Coman attacks Alonso down by the by-line, but Alonso does really well, standing up and refusing to buy the dummies before seeing ball and man into touch.
How do they think of these things?!
Muller is playing really well, not just hanging about waiting to score but moving and prompting. And here he is, moving from left to right before wrapping around rap, curling low a foot past the far post. That's a really good effort.
Eventually, Bayern are going to deliver the perfect pass. They've been finding them, but the execution has been fractionally off.
Coman comes off the right to snap a ball into Muller, and with a man outside he instead slides a reverse-pass in behind the defence for Lewandowski. Again, there's just too much on the delivery, and again, Caballero gets out sharply to block.
Bayern have slowed down these last few minutes but then speed it up again, Kimmich bringing it forward and when he's blocked off, Davies picks up the loose ball, sways past a challenge and refinds him; his first touch puts Lewandowski in, but Caballero is paying attention and able to block the attempted dink.
Giroud holds up finds Barkley running off him, who curls a lovely-looking cross towards the far post, but it's just too far ahead of Mount and just close enough to him not to creep inside the side-netting.
I just don't get Jorginho. He lacks the physique in a fast game, and his passing isn't good enough to dictate a slower one.
The corner reaches Giroud, but emerges from behind bodies, and he can only head into the ground, the ball bouncing up nicely for Neuer to catch.
Kovacic, who's having a much better season this than last, drills a diag out to James, who bumps in a useful cross; Alaba does well to slide in and stick it behind.
Suddenly Kovacic turns in midfield and space opens up down the right so he slides a ball into space for Mount. His first touch isn't great, but the speed with Davies catches up to unload is startling nevertheless. Mount needs to grasp that that'll keep happening, so he needs to have his next move, whether a check or a pass, plotted as soon as he gets on the ball.
What's interesting about this game is that both teams are happy to go long.
Bayern are much, much better than Chelsea. That really is the size of it.
Too easy for Bayern! Thiago has time and space to lift a ball over the top for Lewandowski, whose movement takes him between Christensen and Azpilicueta and into the box! He controls on the left side of the box then applies the hammer, but Caballero does well, getting out to wear the shot on the hop of the head.
If I was a Chelsea fan, this team photo would cause me to shudder.
But here come Bayern, Boateng lifting a lovely ball over Chelsea's press to Coman, inside the centre-circle, and he flicks off to Muller then goes, catching up with the return at inside-right and powering into the box.The main space is across Caballero, but he goes for the smaller gap between keeper and near post, ruffling the side-netting. Big warning for Chelsea.
Nice form Chelsea, faking to play out before Caballero whacks it at Giroud. He wins the header with a lovely flicks and suddenly Mount is on his bike, roaring across Davies before screwing a shot wide. Chelsea have got that in their locker and when it's done well it's very hard to defend against; perhaps Bayern need to put a man in front of Giroud as well as behind.
Pavard tries to put Coman in behind Alonso, but his pass is way too heavy. Coman makes a pretty decent fist of chasing it though.
Long throw from Azipilcueta which Thaigo half-heads away, the ball dropping to Mount, and he lashes miles away from anywhere, even Selhurst Park.
Kovacic spreads to Alonso, who finds Barkley, and he wins a throw off Pavard, deep inside the Bayern half. Bayern quickly win back possession, but then Chelsea do likewise; it's pretty scrappy so far.
Bayern probe; Chelsea allow them to have it till they get close to the centre-circle.
Already it's Bayern with the ball while Chelsea sit off. But as I type that, Mount starts pressing, wins the ball then follows through to tread on Davies. He does well to escape a booking.
But Bayern go straight down the other end and Muller drags a low shot that Caballero saves down to his right.
Bayern have won 10 of their last 11 games, but it's Chelsea who show first, Kovacic driving towards the Bayern box before being crowded out.
Away we go!
BT reckon Chelsea are playing three at the back. Gosh, that is asking for trouble against a team with two wingers and Alphonso Davies as one of thei full-backs.
That anthem. What a tune.
Here come the teams!
So what's going to happen here? I find it hard to see a way for Chelsea, certainly not over two legs. I think Bayern will have at them wide, and in midfield Thiago and Kimmich are far better than Jorginho and Kovacic. But if Chelsea can get after them early, before class takes charge, you never know.
The last time these two met in the Champions League...
Bayern, for their part, have not been faultless in recent weeks – they secured a nervous win against Paderborn over the weekend.
Chelsea boss Frank Lampard expects a tough evening.
"It is a club that overcomes difficulties because of the strength, their structure. I have huge respect for them (Bayern)," Lampard said.
" Every year they can win the Champions League but our job is to try and stop them."
"I understand it if people call us underdogs because Bayern are so strong. Maybe we do not have their experience but we are here to turn it around. Those are the best stories in sport."
The teams are in.
Chelsea are unchanged – Willy Caballero continues in goal and Olivier Giroud retains his spot in attack.
For the visitors, it is four changes, with Benjamin Pavard, Jerome Boateng, Kingsley Coman and Thomas Muller coming in.
Hello and welcome to live minute-by-minute coverage of this last-16 Champions League encounter between Bayern Munich and Chelsea from Stamford Bridge.