Football news - The Warm-Up: All pitch invaders are plums, but not all plums are pitch invaders

All pitch invaders are plums but not all plums are pitch invaders. No, in case anyone is asking, The Warm-Up shall not be apologising to all plums. So, to be clear, the prime-time plum who clotheslined Jack Grealish from behind during the Second City derby is exactly that: a prime-time plum.

What said prime-time plum thought he had to gain from sucker punching another human being for presumably playing for a football team that they do not support is open to question. Perhaps he thought striking someone from behind would see them rewarded with some sort of 'waheeey, lad, lad, lad' banter points. What he gained instead was a few hours of free board at the local police station, and perhaps a criminal record and a life-time ban from the club.

A pretty two bob afternoon's work that. Now The Warm-Up, being a law abiding citizen, has not frequented a police cell but is almost certain they do not contain a flat screen TV and Sky. Therefore, the aforementioned prime-time plum will, having been arrested, not been abreast of the ongoings at St Andrew’s on account of being held at Her Majesty's pleasure. Therefore, The Warm-Up can't stress enough how much it would have loved to have been present to watch the news being delivered that Grealish had scored the winner. Completely, utterly and wonderfully glorious scenes. Tremendous.

In all seriousness though, there is a worrying trend emerging across football. A trend whereby running on the pitch and squaring up to - or trying to clobber - players seems an acceptable course of action. It isn't. But sport is often a reflection of life and this country has been on the skids for a few years now.

However, amongst all this, great credit must go to Grealish as the response from the 23-year-old was absolutely spot on. He offered up little reaction, bar a little smirk as he sat on the pitch, before going about his business.

Oh, for those actually interested in association football, Aston Villa beat Birmingham 1-0.

Later in the day an Arsenal fan decided to get in on the act, dashing on to the pitch and barging into Chris Smalling after Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang's penalty.

The worrying aspect here is that the plum who ran on the pitch in all likelihood will have seen the Grealish incident and thought 'I'll have some of that'. Mind numbing stupidity. Thankfully neither player was hurt but that represents more luck than judgement. The FA and the Premier League need to make a stand as situations like this escalate. The deterrent needs to be stronger than a ban for said individual fan. Points deductions are the way forward.

Bantering off, for the uninitiated, is to insult someone via the means of banter.

So, for example, Jesse Lingard celebrating United beating Arsenal 3-1 back in December 2017 with the Milly Rock would, in The Warm-Up's opinion, be a prime example of bantering off. Look, The Warm-Up doesn't make the rules, it's just the massive jobsworth that enforces them.

The England international was again at it during Manchester United's FA Cup win back in February, this time producing a moonwalk in another 3-1 win. Again this would be defined as a classic piece of bantering off. A classic in the genre.

So, when Arsenal played Manchester United in the league, the Gunners, the self-defined banter club, got their banter on. They beat United 2-0 in a clinically professional performance, with goals from Granit Xhaka and Aubameyang.

In the wake of that result, it turns out that Mesut Ozil plays the social media game - and by extension the banter game - like he plays the game of association football, with a subtle yet brutal incisiveness. Yes, the German came for Lingard post match with a lovely little dance floor quip. Well played Mesut, well played.

Bantering off aside, on the pitch, it looks like it might be one the best races for fourth, with four teams battling it out for two spots.

Tottenham have gone off the boil, having taken just one point in their last twelve. Arsenal are bang in form but remain very much, well, Arsenal. Manchester United look a force to be reckoned with again. Chelsea are a spectacle if nothing else.

Happy days.

Both mavericks: both hugely talented; both to some extent vilified for perceived character failings.

However, it is fair to say Eric Cantona does not identify with Neymar. Nope, not one bit of Eric's Instagram story over the weekend is anything to go by - as he seemed to suggest that Neymar was a fair-weather player.

You've surely heard of the goalkeeper's union, well it appears the maverick's union is still a way off.

Dejan Lovren. Three nutmegs in less than 30 seconds.

Jacky, take a bow.

Hector, take a bow

Yea, yea, some poor - probably overworked and under supported - person at the EFL made a mistake in their statement regarding the Grealish incident.

Yup, someone made a mistake everyone, let's vilify them for making a mistake.

Wind it in.

The Arsenal against Manchester United game was great and everything but it will, in The Warm-Up's humble opinion, never ever be able to match the levels of animosity of the Vieira-Keane days.

Ooooffff.

Nick Miller, who has the composure of Jack Grealish and the fashion sense of Hector Bellerin, will bring you Tuesday’s Warm-Up.