The Warm-Up: Germany's long national nightmare over after...erm...nine months
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Updated 25/03/2019 at 08:57 GMT
Plus Scotland are bad, England are good and Spurs get a weirdly big crowd for an Under-18s game...
Germany's defender Nico Schulz (L) celebrates after scoring their third goal during the UEFA Euro 2020 Group C qualification football match between The Netherlands and Germany at the Johan Cruyff Arena in Amsterdam on March 24, 2019.
Image credit: Getty Images
MONDAY’S BIG STORIES
Germany 1-0 Narrative
It turns out that the grim days of German football, the great existential crisis that some predicted would plunge them into a generational depression, might have just lasted about nine months.
There was talk that Jogi Loew could have been cleaning out his desk had they been on the rough end of a spanking by the Netherlands last night, and since he’s been in place for 13 years, that’s a lot of stuff to clear out. Old newspapers, mugs, notes scribbled on Post-Its that probably made sense at the time but now you don’t have any idea, 35 Biros that don’t work. For that reason if nothing else, it was probably a good job that Germany won.
When Leroy Sane wasn’t picked for the World Cup, it felt like this was Germany lording it over the rest of us: look at us, so good we don’t even need one of the best players in the Premier League. Now he looks like possibly their most important player, in the post-Muller/Ozil era, and he opened the scoring against the Dutch while Serge Gnabry, perhaps the biggest in the large pool of ‘ones that got away for Arsenal’ bagged a second with a screamer into the top corner.
The Netherlands equalised through Matthias de Ligt and Memphis Depay, but in traditional German fashion, with the standard absolute refusal to be written off, Marco Schulz popped up with a winner in the last minute.
‘In the first really important game since the World Cup debacle, Jogi Löw has delivered and shown it to everyone who no longer considers him the right coach,’ declared Bild afterwards.
So if you thought Germany were gone, sorry, think again. They’re never going away.
Boooooooooooo Scotland, booooooooooooo
Stick with us on this, but believe it or not there was a time not too long ago when the future actually looked pretty bright for Scotland. In the likes of Andrew Robertson, Scott McTominay and Ryan Fraser they had a few exciting young(ish) players, and in an era where there are so many more opportunities to succeed – more qualification places at major tournaments, the Nations League – there looked a path for them to achieve something, rather than just grimly existing.
Those days feel like a long time ago now. After their calamitous defeat to Kazakhstan last week, they faced San Marino last night knowing that nothing other than a comprehensive victory would satisfy their fans. As it turned out they bumbled to a 2-0 victory and were booed by the travelling support.
That’s probably not the most worrying bit though. Afterwards manager Alex McLeish told Sky Sports:
We started really well, played well getting the first goal early. We tried to push for another, and because we didn’t get it we were a wee bit nervy. I know it’s been a tough few days for everybody, and when we got the second goal I think we saw the team relax and go on to create four or five other chances.
Nervy? Against San Marino? That’s a bit like a cat getting the jitters while chasing a worm it has just caught in the garden. Oh Scotland, Scotland, Scotland.
England march gloriously on…probably
Perhaps this is a typically English, pessimistic way of looking at the world, but it would be just about right if, at a time when the England football team is at its brightest point for generations, when there is a collection of exciting, genuinely brilliant, actually likeable players in the team who look destined to really achieve something, this was when they all made a mess of it.
England face Montenegro this evening after their comprehensive 5-0 tanning of the Czech Republic last week, just the latest in a long line of impressive performances, so now would be around the right time for hubris to get the better of them and it all to go really wrong.
And actually, it could be a spicy evening in Podgorica, as England found out in 2013 when they played here and received a…warm reception from the locals, which included the donation of some saliva (presumably in case the fans thought the players’ skin looked a bit dry) and cigarette lighters (helpful, in case they needed to light candles for their post-match bath) from the stands.
Gareth Southgate said:
Kyle [Walker, the only member of the squad who played in 2013] spoke a bit about the experience to help the players prepare for what’s coming, so that it’s not a surprise. I expect all the players, even the younger ones, to show leadership in their own way but to have the older ones setting the example in those tense moments in particular. Maintaining composure is something we’ve talked about a lot. Our undoing in tournaments has often been a lack of discipline in matches. That’s expected of this group now. They have to respond in the right way, stay calm in tense moments.
Still, England are good. Let’s enjoy it.
IN OTHER NEWS
Weirdly big crowd for Tottenham under-18s game…
Look, it’s about seven months late, the way the club have handled the delays has been pretty scandalous, and several clubs might be relatively peeved at the fairness or otherwise of playing home games at different stadia…but for the moment let’s just enjoy how excited Spurs fans are about the new White Hart Lane, which hosted its first proper game on Sunday as their under-18s faced Southampton.
And boy does it look impressive. That big south stand is going to be a hell of a thing, the giant golden cockerill on the roof is pretty imposing and even though you might, at first glance because of the angle and colour of the seats briefly mistake the lower tier for Milton Keynes, they’re finally home.
Mauricio Pochettino was there, cheering on his confusingly-named son Maurizio, and it sounds like it was all getting a bit dusty in there…
HEROES AND ZEROS
Hero: Beth Mead
It’s been a pretty solid few months for Beth Mead, firstly starring for England in the SheBelieves Cup a few weeks ago, including this belter…
…against Brazil, and on Sunday she bagged a couple of goals as Arsenal handed out an absolute tanning to Liverpool, meaning that if the Gunners win their last three games, they will be WSL champions for the first time in seven years.
Vivianne Miedema is decent too…
Zeros: UEFA
Look, we hate to get all ‘bloke in the pub with straightforward opinions like why can’t they just bloody well get on with it and leave, deal or no deal’ about things, but UEFA are probably about to get silly again. As you’re probably aware Raheem Sterling lifted his jersey to reveal a tribute to a promising young footballer called Damary Dawkins who recently passed away after battling acute lymphoblastic leukaemia for four years.
UEFA’s rules state that players essentially can’t do this, the intent to presumably prevent the sort of political slogans and personal opinions that can cause them a few diplomatic problems, and thus Sterling will probably be on the thick end of a fine. But come on guys – a bit of leniency perhaps? Let’s be sensible about these things? Pleeeeeeeaaaaaase?
RETRO CORNER
It was Brazilian midfielder Ramires’s birthday over the weekend, which gives us an ideal excuse to have a look at probably his finest moment in a Chelsea shirt, with that goal against Barcelona in 2012. Plus some other goal you might remember.
HAT TIP
The other day, as Lionel Messi seduced a stadium full of Real Betis fans with an explosively beautiful hat-trick, coming so soon after Cristiano Ronaldo carried Juventus onwards in the Champions League fuelled by his own theatrical charge, it was only natural to think about how lucky we are to love football at the same point in history that these two are playing, especially as so much is accessible, in real time, to be watched by anyone anywhere.
People are starting to compare Messi and Ronaldo again, so Amy Lawrence tells them all to just snap out of it and enjoy them both for the freakish geniuses they are. She throws in an anecdote about some disintegrating espadrilles as well.
COMING UP
IN-GER-LUND! IN-GER-LUND! Weird, isn’t it? England games not being a frightful drudge and something to actively avoid. The trip to Montenegro is comfortably the most attractive Euro qualifier on the slate tonight, with world champs France in action elsewhere hosting Iceland, while Kosovo’s remarkable story continues against Bulgaria.
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