Football news - The Warm-Up: Europe gets a taste of the full English

Yesterday, in Westminster, the Brexit secretary voted against the Government’s motion on Brexit, which he had just spent some time passionately defending. Meanwhile, the leader of the opposition reiterated his support for a second referendum after instructing his MPs not to vote for one. It’s almost impressive that one of the greatest self-owns in history can get even more humiliating each day.

And, seamless segue alert, it’s not just our politicians who are proving incapable of exiting Europe. In rather more impressive scenes last night, both Arsenal and Chelsea reached the quarter-finals of the Europa League to leave a full complement of six English teams in the two draws taking place on Friday. Congratulations to Manchester City, Liverpool, Manchester United, Tottenham, Arsenal and Chelsea for a feat which hasn’t been achieved since the 1970-71 season.

Most impressively, Arsenal became only the second team to overturn a 3-1 first leg defeat in the Europa League as they beat Rennes 3-0 at home - Ainsley Maitland-Niles with one and Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang with two, the second of which prompted the striker to whip out a Black Panther mask - which is a timely bit of PR for the new Avengers film.

The 3-1 loss in the first leg suggested that progress under Unai Emery had become stunted but a win over Manchester United at the weekend and now a stirring comeback in Europe have left the picture looking rather more favourable.

Earlier on Thursday, Chelsea demolished Dynamo Kiev 5-0 in Ukraine to win 8-0 on aggregate, with Olivier Giroud bagging a perfect hat-trick to take his tally for the competition to nine. Teenager Callum Hudson-Odoi - who was called up to the England Under-21 squad for the first time - was also on target for his fourth European goal of the season with Marcos Alonso getting the other.

You can watch live streams of both the Champions League and Europa League quarter-final draws from 11am right here.

In the other big results last night there were two high-profile casualties. Sevilla, winners in three of the past five years, crashed out to a last-minute goal from Slavia Prague, who won 6-5 on aggregate. Cue: absolute scenes.

Three-time winners Inter were also the victims of a shock as they lost 1-0 to Eintracht Frankfurt, with wonderkid Luka Jovic on target.

Which means the quarter-final line-up is as follows:

It’s a totally free draw on Friday but The Warm-Up’s money is on a Santi Cazorla derby, with Chelsea surely destined for Napoli - the club where ‘Sarriball’ isn’t a slur.

Raucous laughter was heard emanating from a palatial villa in Setubal, Portugal, last night following the news that Paul Scholes’ managerial career has officially acquired the moniker ‘ill-fated’.

Scholes quit as manager of his boyhood club yesterday after only 31 days in charge, citing broken promises as he walked out, pointing his finger at owner Abdallah Lemsagam.

Scholes only won one of his seven games in charge. If Jose Mourinho ever ends up back in management in England, you best believe that’s getting mentioned.

This just in from the Year 7 v Year 8 lunchtime kickabout in the playground:

And now for the kind of goal you won’t see scored with a sponge ball against the back of the science block:

As we are (loosely) talking Brexit, it would be remiss not to mention the intervention from Tottenham and England star Eric Dier as he came out in support of a second referendum yesterday, giving the centrist (sorry, centre) midfielder an interesting afternoon perusing his mentions.

Dier’s endorsement of a People’s Vote did also give rise to this pretty well judged meme from For Our Future’s Sake - the student group opposing Brexit.

And now we remember Paul Scholes in happier times, with his best goals for Manchester United. Oof.

The pick of the Friday night football sees Doncaster take on Barnsley in League One in what, without resorting to Google Maps, is presumably a Yorkshire derby of sorts. You can see all the EFL highlights on Saturday on Quest, don’t forget.