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The Warm-Up: Cristiano Ronaldo wants seven children and seven Ballons d'Or

The Warm-Up: Ronaldo wants seven children and seven Ballons d'Or

17/11/2017 at 07:04Updated 17/11/2017 at 08:28

Seven Ballons d'Or for seven babies: that's the desire expressed by Cristiano Ronaldo in a quite amazing interview in L'Equipe.

FRIDAY’S BIG HEADLINES

Family planning, with Cristiano Ronaldo

The Warm-Up thought it had seen it all yesterday when it was revealed Andy Carroll had named his new child after his shirt number: welcome to the world, Wolf Nine!

But not for the first time, Carroll has been completely overshadowed by Cristiano Ronaldo.

"I want seven children and as many Ballons d'Or,” claimed Ronaldo. “As long as I play, I'll have the ambition to win all I can. So, my dream is the fifth Ballon d'Or. And, next year, there will be another one to look for."

The man self-titled CR7 wants both his brood and trophy cabinet to be on brand. With the birth of baby daughter Alana, Ronaldo will presumably be satisfied that his children and Ballons d’Or are in perfect balance for now. But on December 7, he is 1/8 to win his fifth such trophy, meaning another child will be swiftly required. And as for a sixth and seventh? The Warm-Up has no doubts about Ronaldo’s potency, but in Ballon d’Or terms at least it seems a bit far-fetched.

Real Madrid are already languishing well behind Barcelona in La Liga; Ronaldo has one league goal to Messi’s 12; and, most importantly of all, Argentina look equipped to go far deeper into the World Cup than Portugal. Already, the 2018 Ballon d’Or looks Messi-bound. Which if nothing else will reduce the nappy bill in the Ronaldo household.

North London derby 'injury' update

Dele Alli and Harry Kane show their disappointment during Tottenham's game against Swansea

Dele Alli and Harry Kane show their disappointment during Tottenham's game against SwanseaGetty Images

In news which should surprise absolutely no-one, Dele Alli, Harry Kane and Harry Winks have all shrugged off the injuries which ruled them out of international duty with England and could now start Saturday’s North London derby against Arsenal.

For one, is Winks really likely to start turning down England call-ups when he’s had one cap and has a decent chance of making the squad for a World Cup? And why would Alli or Kane miss the chance to play Brazil or Germany at Wembley if they had the opportunity? It’s not like it was a double header against San Marino and Andorra.

Meanwhile, Arsenal have received some injury news that prompted arguably the most egregious example of clickbait ever inflicted on the internet – even by the standards of the @SunSport account, the apex predator of clickbait in the fetid swamp that is Twitter.

To save you a click, that’s the news that Olivier Giroud, who has not yet started a Premier League game this season, will not be able to play against Spurs at Emirates Stadium.

Another fine mess at the FA

Eni Aluko

Eni AlukoGetty Images

It ostensibly cleared Kendall of the allegations. A couple of phone calls from Taylor later, and the story was collapsing to rubble.

" The Guardian has asked the FA for an explanation as to how Kendall could be under investigation for speaking to a black player that way, and admit it was true, only for the organisation to release a statement that made it appear as though he had been cleared of any wrongdoing. The governing body declined to comment on the record but confirmed that Kendall had accepted the allegations were true. The organisation also admitted, contrary to its own statement, that it did deem action to be necessary and that Kendall would have been required to take diversity training if he had remained in its employment."

The FA is not fit for purpose and has zero credibility. Zero.

IN THE CHANNELS

A quick nod to the BBC and their coverage of African football, which brought us this absolute gem of a clip of Algeria coach Rabah Madjer absolutely going off on one at a press conference.

It all starts so innocently, no sign of the uncontrollable fury lurking below:

But then Madjer starts jabbing his finger at a journalist he calls “the enemy of the national team” before repeatedly screaming “shut up” at him. Marvellous.

Riyad Mahrez hasn’t felt that uncomfortable since he invited Jamie Vardy to his family BBQ.

RETRO CORNER

Speaking of explosive press conferences, let’s return to the absolute king of the genre: 'Giovanni Trapattoni Kicks Off at Bayern Munich' (1998). It’s the first result you get when you search his name in YouTube, and it’s the main thing Bayern fans remember him for.

“Strunz!”

The Warm-Up has not realised before today that he even gets a little round of applause from the titillated Munich press. Lovely.

HAT TIP

Shining a rare light into the financial state of AC Milan owner. Li Yonghong, the Times paints a picture which should be highly disturbing to any Milanistas.

" The soccer club, bleeding money after a spending spree on star players, is seeking new investors or a refinancing of the high-interest loan that Mr. Li took to buy the club. That loan comes due in a year. Chinese corporate records show that — on paper, at least — someone else owns his mining empire. That company’s offices were empty on a recent visit, and a sign on the door from the landlord cited unpaid rent."

It’s a long read but contains some fairly devastating revelations.

COMING UP

There’s some proper Championship fare for you tonight as Preston play Bolton from 7:45pm on Sky Sports. However, BT have Stuttgart v Borussia Dortmund and Amiens v Monaco.... either way, club football is back.

Adam Hurrey would settle for three Ballons d'Or. He's back on Monday for the Warm-Up's weekend wrap.

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