Manchester United - Crystal Palace live updates

Palace have done absolutely nothing - David De Gea still smells of Lynx Marine.

The last time a player scored a brace of own-goals against United.

Poor Anthony Martial caresses the gas to flow by Kelly before flipping a cross at Rashford byt the near post. He jumps to try and guide it insdie the near post, but Delaney arrives first and just misses with his second own-goal attempt, though the ref gives a goalkick.

This game is giving its all to trump the 0-0 between the sides at Selhurst Park earlier in the season, which was horrifically tedious.

Valencia does superbly to escape Souare, then has to shoot or cross, a dilemma which flummoxes him entirely. Though, in his defence, he was not exactly replete with options.

It has just become apparent that the co-commentator bemoaning the state of United's strikers is none other than Garry Birtles. Next: David Cameron lambasts Jimmy Carr for his tax avoidance.

Nasty Mariappa sticks out a knee for Nice Little Mata to fall over and United have a free-kick, 40 yards out, left of centre. Rooney curls it towards the near post, where the first man is waiting to head clear.

Martial handles the ball away from Jedinak and United break, Mata doing his best to hare through the middle. He eventually squares for Rooney, arriving close the edge of the box, and a low shot follows that's easily collected by Speroni.

Rashford looks lively as, and he jinks space to lay back for Martial - who bangs in a shot, but it's a nice height for Speroni, who beats it away. Apparently, England have a "real dearth of talent up front", which is why Rashford won't make the squad for the Euros.

Adebayor does some running outside the box - seriously - then loses the ball shortly afterwards.

Lovely from Rashford, backheeling for Lingard who races onto it and should shoot, right side of the box, narrowish angle. Instead, he cuts back for the no men running in, and the chance goes.

Martial takes possession on halfway and eases free of Delaney then barges through Mariappa before being escorted over the by-line and down the slope. There was but a single man in the box - quite what the midfielders were up to, plus the winder on the other side, well.

Nothing of note has happened for several minutes. Who could've foreseen such frolics?

Fosu-Mensah has looked more of a right-back this month than Valencia has in his career. The selection of the latter ahead of the former is not at all easy to fathom.

Ryan Giggs is sitting there doing nothing. Louis van Gaal is sitting there doing a crossword.

There are a lot of empty seats at Old Trafford tonight, even though all United's supporters still back Louis van Gaal....

Mariappa flegs but his mouth is too dry, forcing him to grab it from his lips and wipe it on his jersey. More news as I get it.

Palace are defending deep and in numbers, but don't seem focused enough to pull it off - they've been careless in movement and possession so far.

Zaha turns Darmian inside and out, chucks in a stepover or two, and lifts a high cross to the back post, where Adebayor shins wide.

Rashford drifts left and wriggles across the face of the box, the ball running into Mata's path. He drills a low shot across Speroni, but can't find the corner not the power, and it's easily saved.

Wayne Rooney hits a long pass which provokes strong emotions in the commentary box; Mata's shot is blocked, and United resume possession.