Afternoon, and welcome to one of the classic match-ups of English football. This will not be boring, and there can be no greater accolade than that.

Nothing going on here, so wrap your peepers around this. The remaining caveats: goals in tournaments and goals in the Champions League.

Barkley plays a wall-pass off Mirallas, then loops a shot at goal from 20 yards, which Lloris collects easily.

Not a lot going on here now. Spurs will probably help themselves to another goal at some point, but probably not for ten or so. As I type that, though, Vertonghen saunters forward, wipes his studs over the ball to pull it inside, and then just as he shoots, Fues Mori slides in to abort the danger.

Exceptional.

Bit of possession for Everton. I wonder if Koeman is cursing his team selection, or praising himself that its not 3-0 or 4-0.

Lukaku has barely had a touch of the ball, and it's presumably with that in mind that Mirallas is brought on for Davies. Also coming on is McCarthy, with Barry departing.

Perfectly normal behaviour.

They appear to have missed the start of this passage.

Pretty sure we now know who the top three will be in the Best League in the World. Fourth will be between Arsenal, Liverpool and United.

Spurs are far, far too good for Everton.

GOAL! Tottenham Hotspur 2-0 Everton (Kane) Oh dear! Robles rolls the ball out straight, to Schneiderlin, and with Alli and Dembele converging, he tries a little square pass to Williams, who wants no such thing. So Alli intercedes, plays in Kane at inside-left, and he opens his body to plant a low finish inside the far post.

The football chant beginning "Super" and ending "<insert name here>" is worse than norovirus.

Spurs are cookin' again, Vertonghen knocking wide to Davies, taking the return, powering forward and skipping around Williams, before shmicing a shot that Robles has to beat behind. A corner follows, the ball this time worked back to Eriksen. He picks out Wanyama in the middle, who is falling as he heads, sending an effort wide.

Spurs win a corner down the left, which they take short - and amazingly, don't then waste possession, Davies curling in for Alli, whose downward header is accurate but not powerful enough to unduly mither Robles.

Wanyama, or Wanyamz as he's doubtless known in the dressing room, has hurt his calf and receives treatment. He's fine, but.

Gueye chases down the right and snaps over a cross for which Barkely jumps, but Dier is up earlier and higher, heading out of play. There's brief excitement from the away end - that it was for a throw-in tells us plenty - and it comes to nothing.

Davies and Coleman contest a 50-50, but both are fine. Relatedly, it's worth noting how little we've seen of Coleman and Baines going forward, especially given how effective Walker and Davies have been.

Nice from Spurs, Vertonghen spreading left to Davies, whose cross plays Coleman's hand. Nothing untoward, says the ref.