The Warm-Up: Yes, Jose Mourinho is actually Tottenham manager
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Updated 21/11/2019 at 10:39 GMT
And no, the Warm-Up doesn't really understand how or why this has happened. But we don't like it. It feels wrong.
ENFIELD, ENGLAND - NOVEMBER 20: New Tottenham Hotspur manager Jose Mourinho is unveiled on November 20, 2019 in Enfield, England. (Photo by Tottenham Hotspur FC/Tottenham Hotspur FC via Getty Images)
Image credit: Getty Images
THURSDAY’S BIG STORIES
José Mourinho says he’s a changed man …
At least, that’s what he’s promised Daniel Levy. While Mauricio Pochettino’s sacking had been looming for a while, there was something quite brutal about the speed with which he was replaced. The Spurs hot seat must still have been warm, if that makes any sense.
Anyway, the artist formerly known as the Special One has been making all the right noises: he’s promising “passion”; he “really likes” the squad; he “couldn’t be happier”. Though the Warm-Up can’t help but wonder if that last is less an expression of untrammelled delight, and more a report on the upper limits of the Mourinho mojo. “My happiness only goes up to three.”
He didn’t say that last one.
It’s being widely reported that Mourinho has spent his 11 months in the wilderness developing a new approach to football, which sounds promising. Evidence for this comes in the shape of his backroom staff, most notably assistant manager Joao Sacramento, about whom the Warm-Up can say one thing with confidence: he’s not Rui Faria.
But then, isn’t that just what you’d say in a job interview, even if you’d spent the last 11 months mainlining Midsomer Murders and chucking knives at your life-size cardboard Pep Guardiola? “My weaknesses? Well, apart from my punctuality … I guess I just love attacking football played by young players too much.”
No, he didn’t say that, either. Well, probably not. But hey, we weren’t there. We can’t rule it out for certain.
… but not everybody’s convinced …
Supporting a football team doesn’t mean liking everybody that pulls on the shirt. Or the training top. By the time he left, Mauricio Pochettino was almost universally admired among Spurs fans, even those that thought his time was up. It’s fair to say that the new man is starting from a significantly lower base.
To take an example at random, here’s the Tottenham Hotspur Supporters Trust:
There are obviously concerns about how José and our Club’s Executive Board will work together, and we are sure all fans would appreciate greater clarity on how the Club sees this relationship operating in practice. […] We need to hear from the Executive Board what the long-term thinking behind this appointment is. […] We hope for a successful future that respects the unique Tottenham Hotspur identity and the traditions Spurs fans cherish so dearly.
Or, translated: How the merry hell is this even going to work? You’re Daniel Levy. We’re Spurs. He’s José Flippin’ Mourinho. Even when it goes well for him, he’s gone in a couple of years, and it hasn’t gone well for him for a while. Also, the football sits somewhere between unwatchable and execrable. To dare is to do, remember. To do. To dare is not to hang around hoping the opposition fail to do.
The Warm-Up isn’t going to call this as an inevitable failure. But we’ve been trying to think of another managerial appointment so manifestly inappropriate, from a fans’ point of view. And then we stopped trying, because every Spurs fan on Twitter knew the answer already. Buckle up for George Graham 2: This Time, It Was Chelsea.
… and oh, there’s no money
Perhaps more interesting than what José Mourinho said to Daniel Levy and the rest of his interview panel is what they told him about the state of the club and the shape of the job. Because while Spurs may have a lovely shiny new stadium and a Champions League place, they don’t quite have the depth of pocket that Mourinho is accustomed to.
Early reports are that there is no money to spend in January; that Mourinho knows this; and that he’s fine with it. There is also the suggestion that Mourinho may attempt to persuade one or all of Spurs’ high-profile contract rebels — Jan Vertonghen, Toby Alderweireld, and Christian Eriksen — to give the club another few years, rather than leave for free at the end of the season.
Pochettino, so we understand, wanted rid of them all over the summer, the better to reshape a new squad: young, hungry, and keen. All of which adds up to something very strange: José Mourinho the continuity option. Here to keep the squad together. Here to not spend a fortune and smash everything to pieces.
No idea how that’s going to work, but best of luck to all involved.
IN OTHER NEWS
Can you even imagine a midfield of Nemanja Matic and Eric Dier? 20 foot of shambling, gristly meat, coming in late around your ankles. Bring your son to work day at the Bureau of Knackered Assassins. Probably not actually very good, on balance, but certainly very on brand.
RETRO CORNER
At the time of writing, this video — “Jose Mourinho Tribute // 2004-07” — has approximately 340,000 views. How many of those are from Daniel Levy over the last few weeks, only he knows. Still, it’s worth reminding yourself just how seriously, paradigm-shiftingly good they were, an— bloody hell, Hernán Crespo!
HAT TIP
“Wales. Golf. Madrid. In that order.” Over in the Guardian, the estimable Sid Lowe considers what that Gareth Bale banner might mean for the Welshman’s relationship with his Real Madrid paymasters.
It is hard to avoid the conclusion that there’s something pointed in this too, a tightening of the screw. As if he embraces the irritation it causes. Make no mistake, while there’s an element of poking fun at the press, some of this is aimed at the club too.
COMING UP
It’s the Thursday after an international break. It’s cold out. Catch up on your box sets.
Here tomorrow, to bring you José Mourinho’s First Friday As Tottenham Manager (or perhaps some news about somebody else, who knows): Tom Adams
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