The Warm-Up: High VARce as Tottenham win is ruined by computers
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Updated 01/03/2018 at 08:01 GMT
Plus: The world doesn't want Arsene Wenger, bad news for Neymar and PSG (sort of) and the tale of Quini
Son und Llorente jubeln (Tottenham)
Image credit: Getty Images
THURSDAY’S BIG STORIES
Tottenham win despite the help of VAR
Well, football had a good run. It’s been around in broadly its current form for the better part of two centuries, in various other shapes for much longer than that. In that time it’s gone from a weekly distraction only played by men in cloth caps to an international obsession that is virtually impossible to escape. Imagine being one of those people who don’t like football. Must be beastly.
But, it’s done now. Over. Fin. Because the mad sods decided to bring in machines and the machines aren’t working. Or at least they’re sort of working, but working so slowly that they might as well not be working.
Tottenham beat Rochdale 6-1 on Wednesday night, but really nobody cared that much because VAR made such a mess of the evening as to ruin the entire affair.
An early Erik Lamela goal was disallowed, a Spurs free-kick was turned into a penalty and then said penalty was disallowed by the machines: all of which may very well have ultimately been the correct decisions, but nobody had the first idea of what was going on and the match was disrupted so much that it was essentially rendered pointless.
Damn right, Poch. Damn right.
Wenger turned down the world to stagnate and fade at Arsenal
“I turned the whole world down to respect my contracts,” Arsene Wenger said on Wednesday, ahead of Arsenal’s second game in a week against Manchester City. “So I am still amazed that I still have to answer these types of questions.”
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31e j. - Wenger :
Image credit: Perform
The trouble is, not only did he sound slightly foolish and exasperated for no real reason, Wenger also managed to highlight that these days the world doesn’t want him. A formerly great man who in years to come will certainly be remembered fondly, is clinging on. Earlier in the week Ian Wright compared Wenger to Muhammed Ali in his latter days, hanging on and taking fights he shouldn’t because he couldn’t accept that it was over.
Still, it wouldn’t be a surprise at all if Arsenal actually beat City tonight. Such is the weird way the football world works, that just days after they were so incredibly weak against City in the Carabao Cup final, they might still have it in them to defeat the best team in the country.
In some ways it would be quite nice for Wenger to have one more good night. Because there won’t be many more.
Neymar to have surgery, will miss Real
Doom. Doom in Paris. Doom! Well, sort of. Obviously it’s bad news that Neymar will now have to be operated on, that sprained ankle and broken metatarsal proving too much for simple healing, and will have to be fixed by a surgeon’s knife.
“After an initial treatment period of three days, in line with a strict medical protocol, a joint decision has been taken between the medical staffs of both PSG and the Brazil national team.
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Neymar suffered the injury against Marseille (Thibault Camus/AP)
Image credit: PA Sport
“In accordance with the player, it has been decided that Neymar will undergo surgery in Brazil at the end of this week. He will be operated on by doctor Rodrigo Lasmar and accompanied by PSG’s Professor [Gerard] Saillant.”
But, they almost certainly would have lost the tie against Real even with Neysey, so this won’t make much difference to that game. Best that they make sure he’s right for the World Cup, and then next season.
IN OTHER NEWS
Remember that goalie who forgot he was playing football and allowed the opposition to just score a goal? Course you do. Well, in the modern world nothing can just be allowed to lie, so they’re making into even further banter, as the water bottle that Duisberg keeper Mark Flekken was so taken with is being auctioned off for charity.
“The bottle and I have put our names down in the league’s history books,” the blundering buffoon turned kind-hearted charity fund-raiser said. “Our lads were able to turn things around after the equaliser, and we now make this story even better.” The plan is to donate the proceeds to the Zebrakids foundation, which is actually quite nice.
IN THE CHANNELS
Taking a swing at Robbie Savage really is taking a blunderbuss to a very big fish in an extremely small barrel…but the Warm-Up has never been shy of the obvious, so here goes.
Despite all we said about VAR just up there, Savage’s assertion that the first-half of Spurs v Rochdale was “the most bizarre game he’s ever seen” was a bit much. It was just a few irritating delays, Robbie, calm down man. Plus, it’s very slightly troubling that a man who used to be paid to play football and is now paid to know and talk about football seemingly doesn’t know you’re not allowed to stop in your run-up for a penalty.
HAT TIP
What happened in March 1981, though, may be the most telling portrait of all. On the way to the airport that night, Quini pulled in to a petrol station on Plaça de Comas; a DKW van, its number plate M9955AX stolen from a Seat, pulled in behind him and two men got out. Eduardo and Fernando walked slowly up to Quini, showing him a rusty Colt 45, and whispered: “Not a word: get in.” They climbed in alongside him and as he pulled away, gun pressed into his neck, the van followed his Ford Granada towards Les Corts, where he was made to get out and climb into the back of the van. The following day, the police found his car abandoned with the doors still open. By then Quini, head covered with a hood, had long since been imprisoned in an improvised cell under the floor in a lock-up in Zaragoza. It measured barely a metre and a half.
Quini, who died aged 68 this week after a sudden heart attack, might not be the most famous former Barcelona player, but he might have the most remarkable story. Here’s Sid Lowe in the Guardian to tell it.
RETRO CORNER
A big happy birthday to Martin O’Neill, 66 today. Here he is absolutely rinsing Patrick Vieira and Fabio Cannavaro.
COMING UP
Thursday football? That isn’t the Europa League? What an unexpected bonus/another brick in the grimly relentless wall looming over us that is football. Anyway, assuming they make it through the snow, it’s Arsenal v Manchester City.
Tomorrow’s Warm-Up will be brought to you by Jack Lang, assuming he makes it through the inclement weather to his front room to write it.
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