The Warm-Up: Jack Wilshere's contract stand-off and Chris Gunter's Chinese fan club
/dnl.eurosport.com/sd/img/placeholder/eurosport_logo_1x1.png){kind=logo}
Published 22/03/2018 at 08:11 GMT
Jack Lang suggests ways to improve the Old Trafford atmosphere and salutes lazy Tino Asprilla...
Jack Wilshere speaks during an England press conference session
Image credit: Getty Images
THURSDAY’S BIG STORIES
A test of Wil
Hi, Arsene.
Salut, Jack.
I was hoping we could have another chat.
Of course. My door is always open. Let me guess, it’s about…
The contract thing.
Yes.
I mean, have you read this thing in the Mirror? John Cross says I’m basically being forced out. “Pay as you play” – now there are four words to strike fear into any heart. And a reduction in my basic wage? Is this right?
Maybe a little bit. Still: at least you’re still wanted. The fans love you. Isn’t that worth more than a few thousand pounds a week? I would give my right arm for…
I know, I know. It’s just this take-it-or-leave-it thing. I suppose… well, I thought it would be the same as Mesut and Alexis.
How so?
Well, you know, don’t sign anything, let it rumble on a bit, still don’t sign, lots of headlines, Arsenal-in-crisis chat on the phone-ins. And at the end of it all, one massive new deal here and one massive new deal at Old Trafford. Where’s my happy ending?
/origin-imgresizer.eurosport.com/2018/01/31/2258152-47061830-2560-1440.jpg)
Mesut Ozil of Arsenal warms up
Image credit: Getty Images
Yes, but these are different people, different players.
Neither of them has the connection with the crowd that I do. I’m one of the fans! No one looks sadder than I do when we’ve been pummelled by a rival.
Ozil is a much better player than you. He has won the World Cup. Sanchez is a much better player than you. He is very good on the piano. Maybe you should… set your sights lower?
What?
Well Mohamed Elneny is on… wait, come back! Jack! Does this mean you won’t be signing that contract?
/origin-imgresizer.eurosport.com/2018/03/15/2294209-47782970-2560-1440.jpg)
Arsene Wenger of Arsenal looks on prior to the UEFA Europa League Round of 16 Second Leg match between Arsenal and AC Milan at Emirates Stadium on March 15, 2018 in London, England.
Image credit: Getty Images
Bring the noise
Shhhhh. Shhhhhhhh. Can you hear that news coming from Old Trafford? Of course you can; you can hear a pin drop there, even on matchday. That has been Jose Mourinho’s position this season at least, and it appears the club’s hierarchy has taken the hint, with fans to be canvassed about possible ways of improving the atmosphere.
“As you will most likely be aware, the atmosphere at Old Trafford is something which has been frequently commented on of late, both in the media and across social networks, and is a subject the club takes very seriously,” said head of venue operations Dan Schofield.
/origin-imgresizer.eurosport.com/2018/03/21/2297848-47855755-2560-1440.jpg)
Manchester United want to improve the atmosphere at Old Trafford (Dave Thompson/Empics)
Image credit: PA Sport
“To this end, senior management plan to further discuss this topic with fan groups and other interested parties and stakeholders to listen to concerns, ideas, etc and then to put forward recommendations to help facilitate positive change. However, our view is that ideally initiatives should be fan-driven.”
Naturally, The Warm-Up will be personally consulted in due course, but for now, here are a few working suggestions, just for the suits to mull over:
- Free drinks every time Luke Shaw is inexplicably subbed off
- Free drinks every time Anthony Martial is inexplicably subbed off
- Free drinks every time Marcus Rashford is inexplicably subbed off
She-Devils
There is at least some reason for cheer in the red half of Manchester this morning: United have finally woken up, smelled the coffee (think equality with subtle hints of PR benefits) and formed a women’s football team. Welcome to 2002, guys!
This is of course good news, although Ed Woodward’s grand vision statement did sound rather more like a warning than a promise. “The Manchester United women’s team must be built in the same image and with the same principles as the men’s first team,” he said.
Psychological warfare on poor left-backs and miserable tactics in big matches it is, then!
IN OTHER NEWS
“He is already a legend.”
If you were to list all possible sentences that have Chris Gunter as a subject, that one would probably remain in the drafts pile. Yet for one intrepid group of Chinese football fans, the Reading and Wales full-back is very much the main man.
Staggeringly, we’re not even making this up.
RETRO CORNER
That reminded The Warm-Up of another timeless piece of Welsh football inexplicabilia: this room full of Celtic-shirt-clad schoolchildren in Thailand, singing about Joe Ledley to a Johnny Cash tune.
Don’t even try to understand it. Just let it wash over you.
HEROES AND ZEROES
Hero: Tino Asprilla
Thought the week’s big games only started on Friday? Think again, chump: football’s most cash-hungry former stars – plus Usain Bolt – were all out last night for a kick-about organised by a watch brand whose products The Warm-Up will never be able to afford.
It all passed in a daze of corporate back-patting and ceremonial shilling, but there was at least this lovely little portrait of Tino Asprilla, captured by former Newcastle team-mate Alan Shearer.
Pre-game stretch? Nah, you’re OK.
Zero: Ronaldinho
The former Barcelona star marked his 38th birthday yesterday by affiliating himself to the PRB, a Brazilian political party known for its conservative, evangelical agenda.
That means he’s not linking up with right-wing presidential candidate Jair Bolsonaro, as feared a few months ago, but it does lump him with Rio de Janeiro mayor Marcelo Crivella, a man who has described homosexuality as “a lamentable condition”.
It will be interesting to see how he dribbles out of this one.
/origin-imgresizer.eurosport.com/2018/03/21/2298084-47860470-2560-1440.jpg)
Ronaldinho
Image credit: Getty Images
HAT TIP
Stumbled upon when technicians were trying to find a way to send subtitles over the airwaves, the BBC’s Ceefax service had launched in 1974. The limitations of the platform were obvious: no pictures, apart from ones laboriously formulated from alphabetical characters like a full-screen emoji. No video: a maximum of 24 lines on each screen, with a maximum of 40 characters per line. If it sounds rubbish, that’s because it was, but if it was the best way of keeping in touch, that’s what you did.
If you lived through the 1990s, you’re going to want to dive into FourFourTwo stalwart Gary Parkinson’s magnum opus on the decade that saved English football. If you didn’t live through the 90s, read it anyway.
/origin-imgresizer.eurosport.com/2017/03/21/2047568-42946847-2560-1440.jpg)
Paul Gascoigne burst into tears after England suffered World Cup semi-final defeat to Germany in 1990
Image credit: PA Sport
COMING UP
The international friendlies start today, although be warned: these are very much the lukewarm pre-dinner nibbles before the feast. We’re talking Malta vs Luxembourg (very much the Tax-Haven Clasico), Faroe Islands vs Latvia, Algeria vs Tanzania and Denmark vs Panama.
There is, however, one vaguely (slash not at all) competitive game on the schedule: Ryan Giggs makes his debut on the Wales bench at the catchy time of 11:35 this morning, in a China Cup game against, yes, China. The winners of that one will face either Uruguay or the Czech Republic, with untold glory up for grabs.
Tomorrow’s Warm-Up will be provided either by someone now owed a massive favour by Tom Adams, or the blurry, reheated body of Tom Adams himself.
Scan me
Related Topics
Share this article
Advertisement
Advertisement