Most Popular Sports
All Sports
Show All

World Cup Warm-Up: Who will earn the right to lose to England?

Nick Miller

Updated 10/07/2018 at 08:22 GMT

It's the Thierry Henry diary, plus Ed Miliband and Stephane Guivarc'h, swimming pool salesman...

France's defender Benjamin Mendy (L) and France's midfielder Paul Pogba (R) take part in a training session of France's national football team at the Saint Petersburg Stadium, in Saint Petersburg, on July 9, 2018

Image credit: Getty Images

TUESDAY’S BIG WORLD CUP STORIES

Who will win the Thierry Henry derby?

You’re all excited about England striding gloriously into the World Cup final on Wednesday, but before that there are formalities to be completed, specifically about who they will be obliged to beat before being handed the trophy on Sunday. The first semi-final has the pleasing quality of it being an encounter that pretty much nobody predicted, but is also between two of the best teams in the world.
picture

Didier Deschamps, Manager of France looks on during a press conference at Nizhny Novgorod Stadium on July 5, 2018

Image credit: Getty Images

France v Belgium probably doesn’t need subplots, but if you’d still like one then the presence of Thierry Henry, World Cup winner with France in 1998, on the Belgium bench is a good one. You’d imagine that Henry wanted any opponent except France, just so this sort of thing wouldn’t happen.
“His heart will be split,” said Hugo Lloris, the France captain. “Before anything, he is French. He has been a great player.” France coach Didier Deschamps said: “It’s bizarre because he’s French and will be on the opponent’s bench…When you go to a club abroad and play against one from your own country, you are part of the enemy.”
picture

Thierry Henry Belgien WM 2018

Image credit: Imago

Henry has tried to keep a low profile since joining Roberto Martinez’s staff, and understandably so. But this is the sort of game that will blow those good intentions out of the water.

Never mind all that ENGLAND! ENGLUUUUND! ING-UR-LUUUUUUUUND!

Ah yes, back to the order of the day. How are you feeling, England fans? Excited? Nervous? Relaxed? Resigned to the fact that all human endeavour is ultimately pointless because we’re all going to end up as worm food anyway so why bother getting excited?
Hopefully not that last one. On Wednesday England will play in a World Cup semi-final for the first time in a generation, and we’re not saying that the whole thing is sending people a bit odd, but...
Apparently an extra 10,000 England fans are expected in Moscow for the game on Wednesday, the last couple of days seeing desperate scrambles for flights, tickets and hotels, all costing a pretty penny: it’s going to be a bloody expensive 48 hours in Moscow for some people if England lose.
But they’re not going to lose, are they? Are they…?

In non-World Cup news…

Jack Wilshere has signed for West Ham. The former Arsenal midfielder has put pen to paper on a three-year contract at the London Stadium after rejecting the offer of a deal with his boyhood cl…
picture

Jack Wilshere

Image credit: Twitter

Ah heck, you don’t really care that much, do you?
IIIIIINNNNNGGGGGG-UUUUUURRRRRRR-LLLLLLUUUUUNNNNNNNNDDDDD!

BRING THEM HOME/IT’S COMING HOME CORNER

Definitely bring them home now, because people simply cannot be trusted to behave themselves when the heady cocktail of England success, booze and idiots are shaken together.
You’ll have seen the pictures of assorted dunces climbing atop ambulances and buses and so forth after England beat Sweden at the weekend, and…well…they have been politely asked to knock that sort of caper on the head.
“Numerous roads across the country were blocked, stopping emergency vehicles getting to people in need and an ambulance is now off the road while being repaired,” said Deputy Chief Constable Mark Roberts, the NPCC Lead for Football Policing.
“This is in stark contrast to the [England] fans out in Russia, whose behaviour, apart from a couple of minor incidents, has been great.”
So enjoy yourselves out there kids – but don’t get too giddy.

WORLD CUP SHORTS

Hats off to this resourceful lot.

HAT TIP

Zidane gets to live his passion,” he says. “But he can’t walk down the street like I can. I know peace and quiet, something he will never have. I prefer my life: being able to do what I like without being hounded by cameras. It’s a career choice, a life choice. Everyone knows Zinédine Zidane, as the greatest player in the world, and now maybe the greatest manager too. Maybe people don’t know who Stéphane Guivarc’h is, but it doesn’t bother me — I know I existed.
Remember Stephane Guivarc’h? You probably should: he won the World Cup. He’s a swimming pool salesman these days. James Gheerbrant of the Times went to meet him.

WORLD CUP RETRO CORNER

France v Belgium tonight, as you’ll know. The last time these two faced each other in a competitive game (let’s not count the 1986 third place play-off, we’re all dignified people here), it ended in France giving their neighbours an absolute shoeing on their way to winning Euro 84.
Tomorrow’s Warm-Up will be brought to you by Alex Chick, once he’s finished decorating his entire house, floor to ceiling, in St George’s crosses.
Join 3M+ users on app
Stay up to date with the latest news, results and live sports
Download
Related Topics
Share this article
Related Matches
Advertisement
Advertisement