Deadline day transfer news – Cavani, Mertens and more: How the day will almost certainly play out

With BrunoFernandes finally, finally, signing on the dotted line at Manchester United on Thursday, you will wake up to the news that it’s all about Chelsea and Tottenham’s desperate 11th-hour search for a striker – oh, and United are still in the hunt, too.

So can Chelsea get the DriesMertens deal over the line? Will Spurs actually move for OlivierGiroud? Is IslamSlimani really the answer for Manchester United? And who will snatch WillianJose’s services?

These are the burning questions being asked on Friday morning, but in caps, shouting at you is a fifth question: WHERE ON EARTH IS EDINSONCAVANI?

With the Uruguayan’s move to Atletico Madrid reportedly off, the Paris Saint-Germain striker is definitely heading to the Premier League. Definitely, maybe.

The amateur plane spotter in all of us surfaces as a private jet sets flight northbound from Paris. It’s heading towards Gatwick, it’s taken a sharp turn towards Heathrow, but now wait, it’s going straight to Luton. What a coup for the League One club.

As it happens, the jet belongs to a wealthy couple heading to watch Five Finger Death Punch at Wembley on Friday night, and so the Cavani mystery continues.

In the meantime, CedricSoares is spotted somewhere along the M3 as he leaves Southampton to join Arsenal on loan.

As morning makes way for afternoon, the patient wait for a significant deal to get over the line goes on.

But then, huge news. Tottenham are hoping to seal the return of GarethBale before the close of play.

Forget the recent comments that he was committed to seeing out his Real Madrid contract for the next two-and-a-half years, and get excited by the possibility of the Welshman returning to the Premier League.

There are complications to the deal, and significant terms need to be agreed, but Spurs are hopeful of completing a stunning deadline-day swoop.

The excitement is maintained as a flurry of transfers are finalised. Aston Villa have signed a striker unknown to the majority of English fans, Leicester have bought some centre-back or other, while Soares is pictured in an Arsenal shirt for the first time.

He’s delighted to be at the Emirates Stadium, he really is, and can’t wait to give his all at the club in the fight to finish in the top half.

The clock ticks down, but still the striker search proves fruitless for United, while talk of Mertens and Bale goes quiet too. Have these clubs got enough depth to do without a new forward after all? And how will it affect the top-four race if all three fail to sign someone?

But after the German window slams shut at 5pm, news from Italy – two hours before the Serie A deadline – is that Mertens to Chelsea is very much on. There’s a worry the Blues won’t get this deal over the line, but while there is time, there is hope.

Chelsea eventually get their man just as the Italian window closes, but has Giroud sealed a move to Lazio/Inter (delete as appropriate) in time? Scuppering Spurs' hopes in the process?

While we wait for news of whether Giroud’s deal sheet was faxed through in time, there’s breaking news in Spain. Bale to Spurs is off. Agent Jonathan Barnett has empathically shut down the reports, insisting, once again, that his client is happy playing golf in Madrid.

It means Spurs are back in the mix for Willian Jose, but United are determined to make the Real Sociedad forward theirs.

With hours before the English, Spanish and French window closes at 11pm, there is still time to speculate wildly. Paul Pogba’s name gets a mention, the whereabouts of Cavani is still being questioned, but Chelsea are happily sitting back in the knowledge they’ve got Mertens.

Then, it’s bad news for both Spurs and United fans, with Willian Jose unable to agree terms with either side. He will remain a Sociedad player...

And then. In the final hour, a grainy video of Slimani at Carrington goes viral, while FernandoLlorente is rushing to Enfield to finalise his Spurs return.

The window closes. It all goes quiet, and then you’re told there are still eight deals to be done in the Premier League.

Eventually. It’s confirmed. Slimani is a red, Llorente’s back in white, but Giroud’s paperwork has fallen through. Another six months on the bench awaits, but it’s okay, he’ll be fine for France’s Euro 2020 squad anyway.

Cavani finally surfaces on Neymar’s Instagram. Il reste, reads the caption. He stays.

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*Almost certainly will not play out